(15-10-2013, 04:47 AM)Outofstyle Wrote: [ -> ]Quote:Well, we had a very trusting relationship. I see no reason in being jealous of my g/f just because she has male friends. I knew she was madly in love with me, at least until our 9th year together. I had no way to know she was cheating on me! She'd always call him her FRIEND, David. But, even though they were engaged, she'd STILL call him her FRIEND, David!!
During our last year "together" she'd been spending nearly every holiday with him. I didn't like it, but I wasn't jealous or thinking she's cheating on me. So, I called her up in Nov. to ask if she was coming for Thanksgiving and, again she said she was going to spend it with him. I jokingly asked her, "What are you gonna do, marry the guy?" She said, "Well..............yeah."
OVER THE PHONE, SHE TELLS ME THIS??????????
Then she says, "I thought you knew!". She said they're going to get married and move to Wyoming!! SHE'S FROM INDIA!!!! She can't even go out in 70 degree weather without a sweater!!
Y'know what he does for a living? He rummages through peoples' garbage, puts odd bits of it together in strange ways, takes pictures of it and sells the pictures to magazines as art!! One piece I saw was a toaster with the metal spindle from a record player attached to one of the slots and a record sitting on top waiting to be "played".
A year after I dumped her, she dumped HIM!! I blew 10 years of my life with her and she blew him off after only one year!! She wouldn't tell me why she dumped him, she got scared and said, "He's a killer!!!! Don't even ask!!!"
She still wants to be friends, but I'd rather have nothing more to do with her.
I've tried those dating sites, I had two dates and they were both a drag!
Yeah, I know!! I finally got someone, the Indian girl, and, within a few months I had two people asking me to go out with THEM!! Where were they half a year before?? Had I known she was going to cheat on me, I'd have gone out with them!
Wow yea someone who rummages for garbage to make art for a living is probably a killer... She sounds silly, that is quite a betrayal she did to you, and karma is a biotch to people who mistreat others.
Lol those dating sites you really gotta be on the hunt! Perhaps just spending some time focusing on yourself without worrying about finding someone else will bring someone around again
Yeah, she probably is silly. And, she should know all about karma! She's FROM India!! She was always preaching about karma to me! Talk about betrayal...I once asked her to marry me and she said yes. Not too long after that, she said she never said yes!!
WOMEN!!!!! Can't live WITH `em, can't shoot `em!!
I'm told you end up finding when you're not looking, but, I haven't been actively looking for some time, now, and still haven't found anyone.
Yep totally true! Meeting people can be so hard sometimes.
So I had a thing going with a guy in my res these past 2 weeks. I suck. We ended up having sex 2 nights ago. And omg what a gong show. I bought some vitamin B3 (niacin) and I had done my research so I knew that higher doses give you a "flush". I figured it would be a red face, and my vitamin b complex has 50mg in it so I didn't think taking 500 mg would be so bad. Boy was I wrong!! I took it 10 min before going over to my guy's room, figuring we were going to have sex and b3 increases circulation and thus sensations. OMG. I was on FIRE after 30 minutes. I felt like there had been hot sauce rubbed all over my body! My ass looked sunburnt. And skin contact with my guy made it burn even more. We still had sex, and then afterwards I was still hot and flushed but I started shivering uncontrollable for another 20 min. Talk about good impression? Must think I'm a weirdo.
K so that was my sex. Now for my issues.
Things moved faster than I wanted them to. I need strong feelings for sex to be any good so it sucked, even though he has a wonderfully nice penis and a hot bod. Not enough. I
need to feel chased. And I did at first, he was super cuddly and shit when we were first hanging out (obviously to get in my pants, I got the impression that it was something more). I'm so love-obsessed that I wanted to seem tentative to his needs and shit and now the chase isn't there. He has
just barely started dicking me around, like within the last few days. If I didn't have experiences with other guys doing it, I wouldn't know it was happening yet. But it is, I thought we could be close friends and just that, I don't want a bf, but no can't even do that. I'm going off of vibes here and it could be that I am overthinking things, which I have a very high tendency to do, but either I tell myself that I am wrong or I have some faith in what I am feeling. Time I start going with the latter. Perhaps I just overthink things
in the wrong way... Anyways. My vibes are telling me that the chase is over and he thinks he has me. Not the case.
I've been so scared of being seen as a "tease" I hate when guys say that. But honestly, thinking back to when I was like 17- 18, I
loved being a tease
lmao. Why am I denying myself this fun and joy just so some guy who Only wants in my pants stays satisfied. F THAT. I've been using the old YOLO to justify sex, but I don't even want sex! I want to make a guy work for me and bring him off his high horse, because I am worth it. And I don't need to feel guilty about it either, I am sick of feeling guilty.
If the bugger wants to play games, then we'll play games
But in all honesty, this whole thing is just driving me mad, plus trying to juggle making new relationships/friendships with the people in my residence, and keeping up with school that I just want to procrastinate on, plus now I just don't want to ever go to bed at a decent time because I am scared I will keep myself up all night worrying. For someone who has had anxiety since I was a
very young child, I have come a loooong long way so I give myself credit and I am unbelievably proud in myself. But I've worked my way up through the hierarchy of problems and these last bumps are just
so hard. So I've decided to book an appointment with my doctor to be put on anxiety medications, and I will now FINALLY start seeing a shrink I think? I really hate the idea of seeing a shrink for some reason. I can spill my guts out over the internet just fine but I get scared of people's judgements and find it hard to tell someone things in person. And with tough things I get a teary and can't talk without sounding like a big baby. Stupid ex bf. The mean one used to always pester me til I just needed to cry, and then he'd make fun of me for it. I guess I shouldn't be letting him affect me, I wasn't at fault for anything he chose to do.
Anywho.
My body, my rules.
On the bright side, I needed a lesson on setting boundries and now I am getting it. Luke will make good practice for me hehehe.
And he can suck it when I continue to transform into the woman I am destined to be. And he can spend 20 minutes rubbing my feet, not no 3 minutes. Suckaaaa.
Well, I try not to be a judgmental person, I'm pretty sure that if you could talk to my best friend, Kelly, she'd tell you the same thing. She & I can talk about ANYTHING together!! We're more like brother and sister, the good kind, not the "Dad, tell her to stop touching me!!" type. So, you can bounce ideas off me if you want to.
I'm sorry I can't really help you, per se, in the relationship field. I've only ever had 3 girlfriends and I really don't even consider ANY of them to have been REAL girlfriends!! Sally, my first, told me she was only using me to make another guy jealous!! OUCH!!!! Soooo, you HAD to pop my cherry to do that???? A year later I had a fling with Carol, who, until 2 weeks before, had been married to my guitarist for about 3 or 4 weeks!! It's a long and incredibly stupid excuse for him to have left her, like that, but that's what happened, then we eventually became lovers, but, I didn't know that it was because she was on her way to having yet another nervous breakdown!! To this day, she does NOT remember ANYTHING about that spate in time when we were having sex!! As far as she knows, we are still best friends! 8 years later, I ran into Anu and, although we were an item for 10 years, she stopped having sex with me after 4 years!! You know the rest of that story, pretty much.
I REALLY don't know how guys go about getting girlfriends!! Or even fuck buddies or one night stands!! Two of my guitarists over the years had a different girl every night, even though they were going steady with or married to someone!! Have dick: will travel, I guess!! So, I can't really even tell you what HE (Luke?) is going through about you! I think I CAN tell you that guys are probably not very fond of girls that string them along. I know I'm not!! If you like the guy, just tell him!! Most often, if a guy likes a girl, it's REAL easy to tell!! He doesn't even HAVE to say so!! With girls, it's WHOLE new ball game!!!! They act like they like ya, so you take yer shot at her and she runs for the hills or puts you down, big time!! What the hell am I supposed to do with that, figure she's playing EXTREMELY hard to get?? They're ALWAYS on the defensive!! Yeah, I realize it's got a lot to do with their open plumbing, but, do they have to be THAT hard to get?? And why is it okay for Jason or Frank (guitar boys) to fuck `em just for the sake of fucking them, but I can't even get into a real relationship with one?? THEN, when they find OUT that some guy just used them for sex, guess who's shoulder they come crying on?? I don't MIND it, I'm happy to help them, if I can, but, can I get a break once in a while?? They ALL want a sweet, kind, loving, loyal, honest guy!! HERE I AM!! Take me home for $1.98!! But, they ALL go after total lying, cheating, backstabbing assholes like Frank and Jason!! (Sorry, I didn't mean to make YOU feel guilty.)
Anyway, as for your not being able to sleep, one thing you can try is putting on some nice music at night as you go to bed, Enya, Tangerine Dream, Solar Quest, B-Tribe, Orb, Enigma, Software, etc.. AND, you have a wonderful angst-reducing device right at your fingertips! It's between your legs! Let your fingers do the walking! (Maybe you're too young to remember that one!) If you'd rather not use fingers, get a German Shepherd and some peanut butter! ;-)
What do you mean by YOLO?
You can spill on the net because you don't have to deal with someone face to face and you're "talking" to a machine that won't exactly come back you for saying certain things. It's impersonal, so, you have free reign! Also, on here, you can have access ANY time you like!! Talking to a shrink only gives you 50:00 a week!! You want to try to get everything from the past week into the session before it's over and, quite often, that doesn't happen!! Something that I do a lot, but, mostly because I really don't HAVE anyone to talk to in person, is pretend to tell things to someone in particular. You get things off your chest, you'll probably feel better and you'll probably start coming up with your own answers!! AND, you don't have to worry about someone pushing you around if you were talking to them face to face.
YOLO = you only live once. A common saying among the younger generation lol I am almost too old for it, took me awhile to discover what it meant.
Not too young for catching your Pink reference
hahaha sooo funny I used to love that song lol! So Risqué.
My doctor gave me remeron which will help my sleep, it is an anti anxiety. She wouldn't give me the wellbutrin with it but I think I will still end up needing it in 4 weeks.
I'm trying not to be upset about this thing but I feel so played and like he doesn't even know what he's done to me. Thinking about it makes me upset, I hate people who make me feel this way. I want to confront him but maybe it wouldn't do any good. Or maybe he at least wouldn't do it to someone else. He's just making me feel like I'm not good enough, but
he is the one who
isn't good enough for me. I wish I had a punching bag. Like fuck. Why do I have to sit here and try to hold back balling my eyes out while he goes on his merry way.
Do I confront him??
I hope the remeron works as an anti-depressant too. This sucks.
Okay I've calmed down. Not going to confront him yet.
(28-10-2013, 03:55 AM)Outofstyle Wrote: [ -> ]Not too young for catching your Pink reference hahaha sooo funny I used to love that song lol! So Risqué.
If I made one, I can't find it! Do you mean "Let your fingers do the walking?" That was the phrase used by the phone company when they advertised that people should use their phone book, "Let your fingers do the walking though the Yellow Pages." But, in this case, I was using it as a sexual reference.
(28-10-2013, 03:55 AM)Outofstyle Wrote: [ -> ]My doctor gave me remeron which will help my sleep, it is an anti anxiety. She wouldn't give me the wellbutrin with it but I think I will still end up needing it in 4 weeks.
I'm trying not to be upset about this thing but I feel so played and like he doesn't even know what he's done to me. Thinking about it makes me upset, I hate people who make me feel this way. I want to confront him but maybe it wouldn't do any good. Or maybe he at least wouldn't do it to someone else. He's just making me feel like I'm not good enough, but he is the one who isn't good enough for me. I wish I had a punching bag.
Got a set of drums nearby? Go ahead and have a good bash!! They have stickers you can stick to the bowl of your toilet. You should get one that's a picture of him and try to hit it every time you go!! If you can't already, I can teach you how to pee standing up! Having his face in there will give you better target practice!!
In late `06, the day after Christmas, I finally got Kelly back, at least for a few days, then her hubby made her stop talking to me again and I SERIOUSLY wanted to kill him!!!!! I went outside and walked the streets aimlessly hoping to think of or find something I could beat the fuck out of in place of his witless head!! Sadly, I couldn't find anything!! It was late at night, so I couldn't go downstairs and play drums. I never DID get that frustration and hate out, but it just kinda faded away, however, he's STILL a raging asshole, especially towards her and their kids!!!! She probably wants him dead more than I do!!!!
(28-10-2013, 03:55 AM)Outofstyle Wrote: [ -> ]Like fuck. Why do I have to sit here and try to hold back balling my eyes out while he goes on his merry way. Do I confront him??
You don't!! Go ahead and cry your eyes out, girl!! It'll make you feel better!! :-) Get a pillow you don't care about anymore and pretend it's him and beat the living shit out of it as you let yourself cry and get it all out!! Obviously, unless you plan to beat the shit out of him, he's not WORTH confronting!!
(28-10-2013, 03:55 AM)Outofstyle Wrote: [ -> ]I hope the remeron works as an anti-depressant too. This sucks.
I'll BET!! Music helps! Get the right kind and it's better than ANY drugs!!!! :-)
(28-10-2013, 03:55 AM)Outofstyle Wrote: [ -> ]I'm trying not to be upset about this thing but I feel so played and like he doesn't even know what he's done to me. Thinking about it makes me upset, I hate people who make me feel this way. I want to confront him but maybe it wouldn't do any good. Or maybe he at least wouldn't do it to someone else. He's just making me feel like I'm not good enough, but he is the one who isn't good enough for me. I wish I had a punching bag. Like fuck. Why do I have to sit here and try to hold back balling my eyes out while he goes on his merry way. Do I confront him??
I would confront him. Two guys who
tried to take advantage of me (although they weren't successful, they definitely led me on) I confronted about it and it gave me the closure I needed. Say how you feel but without appearing disappointed. Give it the old twist of you being confused and what was the point of making a false image that you wanted more than just sex and finally something about he should not do it again because other girls may be more trusting of him and that he may actually end up hurting someone. Emphasize that he is being fake when he puts up a facade like that. And fake people are a huge turn off, and then you can turn
him down with that statement. Don't make mention of him hurting you. This is not your opportunity to cry to him or in front of him. You'll regret that later. Come off strong, like you just realized that this guy (who you never really cared that much about, btw) was just caught being stupid and you want to
help him, sincerely (because remember you have nothing against him) by giving him advice. If you can own this mentality when you go to talk to him, you will feel even better about yourself. And who knows, maybe he
will learn something. But he will definitely come out of that conversation respecting you more, as long as you can show/demonstrate that it did not effect you. Oh yeah, and don't actually come out to say that (that it did not effect you!) unless he asks. Volunteering that only makes it appear obvious that it
did effect you. Just believe it as you talk to him, and it will show.
I hope that helped....
Oh, and PM me if you want a line to text him that may actually give you a chance at "winning him back" if you so choose, as obviously the above advice is if you want to move on from him. Just remember that most men out there are the same, and even great guys have the capability of seeing us for just sex toys if we make it easy enough for them. They are very driven by sex, and if they could have it their way, they would just be sexing every woman all the time. He saw the green light from you, and he went. He could actually want
you again if you can gain your respect back and bring him back to thinking that he was interested in you from the start,
not just for sex.
Thanks for your guys' help. Seriously it is so nice to read support from you missed miss and Timarie.
I've been so busy (midterms..) so I didn't see these before I confronted him, but I did confront him and I didn't make a fool out of myself!! Yay!
I confronted him. I told him I didn't appreciate him priming me up for sex and then just discarding me and being a jerk, and he apologized. Right after his apology I told him that he should get down on his knees and say it. LOL my humor. He wasn't having that but he seemed intimidated by my confronting him because he got off his chair and laid down in his bed, beneath the blanket, so I was standing over him pretty much for my apology. I asked him if he told anyone about it and he said he hadn't, I think this is true but it really doesn't matter.
Hahaha also some funniness, two days before I confronted him my residence had had our Halloween party, and I was really drunk, really early.
So this is what happened: When I saw him at the party I ended up saying something to him (I think it was F you Luke?) and then kicked him in the shins 3 times LOL and then he ran to the other side of the beer pong table and I proceeded to glare at him and give him the finger. This is what HE told me happened, and I guess it happened in front of a fair amount of people, that sucker. And yea after glaring at him I had a blast! So I got to throw that in his face a bit too :b It was a fun night.
Back to the confrontation, he actually wanted me to cuddle with him again after!! And was telling me not to mad, he actually had to pull me into the bed with him. That night, he came knocking on my door, and tried to open it without me having answered (This is how I know it was him). It was locked and I didn't answer.
So I feel like I got my closure. And now, I am NOT interested in him (I actually met someone else when I went out to the bar the weekend after this) and now I'm seeing someone. But Luke doesn't know that, so I think I will keep it hush hush and give him a taste of his own medicine.
........................................
As for my nbe, nothing really new.... bringing progesterone cream back in... that's about all.
Nice that you got your revenge!!
That's right, hun!! DON'T tell him about your new lover!! It's none of his business anyway!!