[Missed Miss]

Fristly: Can I be there when you club a girl over the head and drag her off to your cage???

That's CAVE, not CAGE.

Secondly: Yes maybe you are right, don't become an asshole but maybe just stop listening to them as much lol, then you don't become the confidant/friend!

Fyi, I went out with all the pricks but I also went out with the nice guys. And for all the nice guys I knew, they ALL found a f'ing awesome chick as will you.

And yes I've seen it with many of my friends too, and it usually was the most confident of them that ended up with a man beater who broke their spirits and they took their bloody time leaving these guys too. But not before many many hours of phonecalls about all the shit stuff these guys had done to them :s

So, what exactly is it that a girl looks for in these guys that makes them WANT to be with an abuser?? A friend of mine out west told me that the day she married this one guy, they were in the car on the way to their honeymoon and he turned to her and punched her in the face!!!! She said, "What was THAT for??" He said, "Just so you know who's the boss!" A few years later (2 years ago) after they split up, he came to see her and broke her arm in several places with a baseball bat!!!!

You know to be honest, in some cases us girls look for the bad boys cause they have an edge but the for the most part with my friends the guy was actually reallllly nice to begin with and then some time down the track the guy actually changed and became abusive. I guess that begs the question, the minute you notice a guy start down that path you either bolt or you stick around in the hopes that he will change? My friends and sibling did just that! Where as over the years if I caught even a hint of a guy being abusive I was out of there like a shot! PS WHAT A PRICK that dude was to your friend..

Yeah, from what I've heard, he IS a MAJOR prick!!!!
Yeah, I understand about the bad boy complex.
Mom always said, "If a guy hits me ONCE, he'll NEVER get a second chance!!!!" I wish ALL women would adopt that rule!!
My ex-fiancé will be more than happy to tell you that I'm a genuine nice guy!! We spent 10 years together and only ever had one major fight! But I NEVER hit her!!!!

[EllaC]

Yeah, from what I've heard, he IS a MAJOR prick!!!!
Yeah, I understand about the bad boy complex.
Mom always said, "If a guy hits me ONCE, he'll NEVER get a second chance!!!!" I wish ALL women would adopt that rule!!
My ex-fiancé will be more than happy to tell you that I'm a genuine nice guy!! We spent 10 years together and only ever had one major fight! But I NEVER hit her!!!!

I believe you! And in fact I wish I knew you in the real world, you have great opinions on stuff! Ps Your mum sounds like a top lady!!!

[Missed Miss]

Yeah, from what I've heard, he IS a MAJOR prick!!!!
Yeah, I understand about the bad boy complex.
Mom always said, "If a guy hits me ONCE, he'll NEVER get a second chance!!!!" I wish ALL women would adopt that rule!!
My ex-fiancé will be more than happy to tell you that I'm a genuine nice guy!! We spent 10 years together and only ever had one major fight! But I NEVER hit her!!!!

I believe you! And in fact I wish I knew you in the real world, you have great opinions on stuff! Ps Your mum sounds like a top lady!!!

Thank you, on both scores!! Everyone seems to think she's a great mom! Sadly, a number of people DON'T think I have such great opinions. But, as Rick Nelson said, "You can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself."
I DID forget to mention, though, that that major fight we had was about 3 years into the relationship and it only lasted a few minutes. The reason I broke up with her was because I caught her cheating on me!! And it was SOOO wonderful to know that she wasted 10 years of MY life with her to go after him and then leave HIM a year later!!
Maybe, sometime if you're in the area you can drop in for a visit and we can hang out together. At the moment, I'd say it's highly unlikely that I'll ever get to Australia.

[EllaC]

Yeah, from what I've heard, he IS a MAJOR prick!!!!
Yeah, I understand about the bad boy complex.
Mom always said, "If a guy hits me ONCE, he'll NEVER get a second chance!!!!" I wish ALL women would adopt that rule!!
My ex-fiancé will be more than happy to tell you that I'm a genuine nice guy!! We spent 10 years together and only ever had one major fight! But I NEVER hit her!!!!

I believe you! And in fact I wish I knew you in the real world, you have great opinions on stuff! Ps Your mum sounds like a top lady!!!

Thank you, on both scores!! Everyone seems to think she's a great mom! Sadly, a number of people DON'T think I have such great opinions. But, as Rick Nelson said, "You can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself."
I DID forget to mention, though, that that major fight we had was about 3 years into the relationship and it only lasted a few minutes. The reason I broke up with her was because I caught her cheating on me!! And it was SOOO wonderful to know that she wasted 10 years of MY life with her to go after him and then leave HIM a year later!!
Maybe, sometime if you're in the area you can drop in for a visit and we can hang out together. At the moment, I'd say it's highly unlikely that I'll ever get to Australia.

Ten years is Long time. Couldn't even imagine how shitty that must have been.
But life can be a bitch! I always wanted to travel to america. Drive a big old yank tank. Move to alabama and drink beer with the locals in those little country bars.. maybe in another life :p
Ps I dont ever see myself getting to the states either but thank you, I will look you up if I ever get there

[myboobs]

Just my penny's worth , regard lady in hydrabad . As I am very fimiliar with india but not that part . If the lady is communicating using a computer than she must be a reasonably literate person . The police factor also depends if she is living in city as police are more pro-active to abuse . Another factor her staying with her abusive partner is financial security / place to live etc . Sometimes even families role comes into. Play as they expect the woman to bear it out !! I would suggest her to pack her bags and leave , and make complaint to the police at same time.
As per good guys I think I am one my wife chose to marry me and been together last 31 yrs yes we have our arguments and its all verbal . At worst she won't talk to me for few days overall I believe we are reasonably happy .my friend circle all got married and none of them are divorced .one of them is in brailsville . Been few times to US . My next trip will have to start in canada- ((us) PA - NY - GA - CA . I need to visit india too tidy up some business intrest there and visit family

[roseblossom]

Oh shit missed. Thats a big burden on your shoulders!
I just cant see a way for you to help her ??? Unless you put her on a plane and get her out of there! I guess sometimes its easier to share your troubles with complete stranger for fear and fear of being judged.

If I had scads of cash, I WOULD have her get on a plane!!
Well, for some reason, we talked a bit at first, but she made the first contact. Then she started telling me of her troubles.

Y'know what REALLY bugs me? I've met SOOOO MANY women in the past 20 to 30 years that are abused by their boyfriends/spouses, but NONE of them want to leave them and find a NICE guy!! The thing about all this that REALLY chaps my ass is that I AM a REALLY nice guy, the kind women claim they're looking for, but can never find!! But, when I let them know I AM a nice guy and am available and interested in them, they ALWAYS decided to go after someone else, who, at LEAST 7 times out of 10, becomes and abusive asshole towards her and THEN she comes to cry on MY shoulder about it!!!! I REALLY don't mind helping her if I can, but, as you mentioned, no matter WHAT great advice you give them, they ALWAYS stick with him!!!! WHAT is the FUCKING ATTRACTION?????? WHY do they go after guys that beat them up???? Do I have to become a complete abusive asshole just to get a woman?????? Maybe the cavemen were right!! Maybe I DO have to club a girl over the head and drag her back to my cave to be my wife!!!! Being really nice to them CERTAINLY ain't working!!!!!!!!

Eh, I know how you feel. I am a REALLY nice woman, and I have been turned down for women with no ambitions, commitment, loyalty, or hell-- even personalities. And yes, they have come crying to me when their girlfriend dumps them because she becomes abusive, gets bored, or finds an "upgrade".

Unfortunately, a lot of these 'bad boys' will give false impressions to lure women in. They are emotionally manipulative. Some of the warmest and sweetest men can spontaneously transform into self-indulgent creeps overnight.

If you don't mind my asking, are you romantic?

Still, I do my best not to generalize. I treat every man as an individual. Being jaded damages the spirit.

I agree with Ella: Don't change for the wrong woman!

Also, I am very sorry about your online friend. I have a friend in India that I would be tempted to ask for help, but he is many miles away from any island. I can't speak for all Indian men, but I know he loves and respects women, one of the best guys I know.

[Missed Miss]

Just my penny's worth , regard lady in hydrabad . As I am very fimiliar with india but not that part . If the lady is communicating using a computer than she must be a reasonably literate person . The police factor also depends if she is living in city as police are more pro-active to abuse . Another factor her staying with her abusive partner is financial security / place to live etc . Sometimes even families role comes into. Play as they expect the woman to bear it out !! I would suggest her to pack her bags and leave , and make complaint to the police at same time.
As per good guys I think I am one my wife chose to marry me and been together last 31 yrs yes we have our arguments and its all verbal . At worst she won't talk to me for few days overall I believe we are reasonably happy .my friend circle all got married and none of them are divorced .one of them is in brailsville . Been few times to US . My next trip will have to start in canada- ((us) PA - NY - GA - CA . I need to visit india too tidy up some business intrest there and visit family

Thanks for your help. I only know about Hyderabad via what my ex-fiancé told me of it. She used to live there. Apparently it's a happening place because her parents live there and her dad is a famous author and would just drop a thousand dollars on her on a whim a number of times a year, but she'd never accept it. Her older brother would do the same and her younger brother came here to go to one of the most expensive colleges around and was VERY up on technology, so, I seriously doubt it's poor section.
Also, any time we had a fight, we'd end up laughing about it a short time later and even referencing elements in it in our personal humour. One time when she slept over here, she got pissed at me for staying up hours after she went to bed and decided to just go back home, about 15 to 20 miles from here, so she tried calling a cab, and when it didn't show, she started walking home, the first part of the journey was to walk across a long bridge! I followed her in my bare feet!! After that, if we had a slight disagreement, jokingly though, she'd say, "I'll call a cab!!" Or, "That's it!! I'm walking across the bridge!!" And we'd have a good laugh over it.
So, you'll be "in the neighborhood" on your business trip!
Oh! And, by the way, I'm guessing she's been writing from her cell phone the past few nights, because the messages were pretty short. The one I just got says that she packed up and left him!! :-)

[Missed Miss]

Oh shit missed. Thats a big burden on your shoulders!
I just cant see a way for you to help her ??? Unless you put her on a plane and get her out of there! I guess sometimes its easier to share your troubles with complete stranger for fear and fear of being judged.

If I had scads of cash, I WOULD have her get on a plane!!
Well, for some reason, we talked a bit at first, but she made the first contact. Then she started telling me of her troubles.

Y'know what REALLY bugs me? I've met SOOOO MANY women in the past 20 to 30 years that are abused by their boyfriends/spouses, but NONE of them want to leave them and find a NICE guy!! The thing about all this that REALLY chaps my ass is that I AM a REALLY nice guy, the kind women claim they're looking for, but can never find!! But, when I let them know I AM a nice guy and am available and interested in them, they ALWAYS decided to go after someone else, who, at LEAST 7 times out of 10, becomes and abusive asshole towards her and THEN she comes to cry on MY shoulder about it!!!! I REALLY don't mind helping her if I can, but, as you mentioned, no matter WHAT great advice you give them, they ALWAYS stick with him!!!! WHAT is the FUCKING ATTRACTION?????? WHY do they go after guys that beat them up???? Do I have to become a complete abusive asshole just to get a woman?????? Maybe the cavemen were right!! Maybe I DO have to club a girl over the head and drag her back to my cave to be my wife!!!! Being really nice to them CERTAINLY ain't working!!!!!!!!

Eh, I know how you feel. I am a REALLY nice woman, and I have been turned down for women with no ambitions, commitment, loyalty, or hell-- even personalities. And yes, they have come crying to me when their girlfriend dumps them because she becomes abusive, gets bored, or finds an "upgrade".

Unfortunately, a lot of these 'bad boys' will give false impressions to lure women in. They are emotionally manipulative. Some of the warmest and sweetest men can spontaneously transform into self-indulgent creeps overnight.

If you don't mind my asking, are you romantic?

Still, I do my best not to generalize. I treat every man as an individual. Being jaded damages the spirit.

I agree with Ella: Don't change for the wrong woman!

Also, I am very sorry about your online friend. I have a friend in India that I would be tempted to ask for help, but he is many miles away from any island. I can't speak for all Indian men, but I know he loves and respects women, one of the best guys I know.

I'm SURE glad I'M not one of those creeps!!!!
Yes, I'd say I'm very romantic. I tend to put emotional value to music, movies and other things that I could do so with that mean something to me via a relationship and I DO shed a few tears at certain movies or songs. I value my friendships and relationships pretty highly. Maybe be cause I have/had so few to begin with.
I seriously doubt I'd change for a woman, maybe a tiny bit, but not much. And I CERTAINLY wouldn't force her to change for me, either!! I'll suggest a few things or maybe tell her what I'd prefer of her, but I don't expect her to change for me just because I suggested she do.
It'd be nice if your friend COULD help!! Thanks for thinking of it!! :-) She just wrote me today saying she's packed up and left him!! :-)))))

[myboobs]

Just my penny's worth , regard lady in hydrabad . As I am very fimiliar with india but not that part . If the lady is communicating using a computer than she must be a reasonably literate person . The police factor also depends if she is living in city as police are more pro-active to abuse . Another factor her staying with her abusive partner is financial security / place to live etc . Sometimes even families role comes into. Play as they expect the woman to bear it out !! :( I would suggest her to pack her bags and leave , and make complaint to the police at same time.
As per good guys I think I am one :) my wife chose to marry me and been together last 31 yrs :) yes we have our arguments and its all verbal . At worst she won't talk to me for few days :( overall I believe we are reasonably happy .my friend circle all got married and none of them are divorced .one of them is in brailsville . Been few times to US . My next trip will have to start in canada- ((us) PA - NY - GA - CA . I need to visit india too tidy up some business intrest there and visit family :)

Thanks for your help. I only know about Hyderabad via what my ex-fiancé told me of it. She used to live there. Apparently it's a happening place because her parents live there and her dad is a famous author and would just drop a thousand dollars on her on a whim a number of times a year, but she'd never accept it. Her older brother would do the same and her younger brother came here to go to one of the most expensive colleges around and was VERY up on technology, so, I seriously doubt it's poor section.
Also, any time we had a fight, we'd end up laughing about it a short time later and even referencing elements in it in our personal humour. One time when she slept over here, she got pissed at me for staying up hours after she went to bed and decided to just go back home, about 15 to 20 miles from here, so she tried calling a cab, and when it didn't show, she started walking home, the first part of the journey was to walk across a long bridge! I followed her in my bare feet!! After that, if we had a slight disagreement, jokingly though, she'd say, "I'll call a cab!!" Or, "That's it!! I'm walking across the bridge!!" And we'd have a good laugh over it.
So, you'll be "in the neighborhood" on your business trip!
Oh! And, by the way, I'm guessing she's been writing from her cell phone the past few nights, because the messages were pretty short. The one I just got says that she packed up and left him!! :-)

I am glad she packed and left . Hope she will be able to sort herself with help from family and friends .
India is a land of massive contrast . There is extreme poverty and extreme Wealth . What we consider bare min there it is comfortable .
My dealings are in mumbai / pune / porbandar . Sold my 4 bed modern buglow in pune. As I never used it . Got property in porbandar. And going into property there .
Have house in cummings GA , handing back to bank as I been turned over by too many tenants :(
I defo wana go to CA :) my bro n leice are there .
Will see if can catch up with feW from here when I fly over :)
I love mexican @ don pablo n their margarita :)

[Missed Miss]

I am glad she packed and left . Hope she will be able to sort herself with help from family and friends .
India is a land of massive contrast . There is extreme poverty and extreme Wealth . What we consider bare min there it is comfortable .
My dealings are in mumbai / pune / porbandar . Sold my 4 bed modern buglow in pune. As I never used it . Got property in porbandar. And going into property there .
Have house in cummings GA , handing back to bank as I been turned over by too many tenants
I defo wana go to CA my bro n leice are there .
Will see if can catch up with feW from here when I fly over
I love mexican @ don pablo n their margarita

Part of the problem is, she doesn't HAVE any family or friends. :-(
I've never been farther east than Hershey, Pa., unless Clearwater, Fla. or Baltimore, Md. are farther east of Hershey. Never been farther west than Chicago.