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When everything fails. Depression.

#1

I’m on nbe since 2017, i tried everything and everything failed.


I’m dealing with self hate since my teens. In my teens i never had a boyfriend because i was very ashamed to get off my clothes. I’m not just flat-chested (and flat chested means AA cup, not b cup!!) but also fat. So, in my teens i decided to go into good diet and hard workouts to get slim and obtain a nice skinny shape to match my flat chest. I dealed with anorexia for this. I lost 40lbs, but i was never happy with this. My goal was the size 0, i skipped meals, i did 4 hours workout everyday, and yes, i took also pills to fight my depression and anorexia.

Right now i have my beloved size 0 and i’m insatisfied anyway.

My first boyfriend betrayed me and now he’s married with a girl with big boobs on a large frame.

But hey, Who cares? The last year i started to date an other guy, i was happy but few weeks ago he said “i dont like you, you’re ok but i don’t like your shape, i prefer my ex-girlfriend despite her horrible behaviout because she was a norma shape, but you’re too skinny and with no curves “

I saw his ex-girlfriend, she’s not a skinny girl, she’s fatty with a C cup, a normal shape, not the sexiest model shape, just a fatty shape with normal boobs. I’m feeling so ashamed and so low.

I just want a normal shape, like all the other girls, with boobs which match my body fat. I dont Wanna be thensexiest girl on this planet, just a fucking normal girl.

Right after that i’m thinkimg about surgery, but i know the result won’t be good, the more you’re flat the more your surgery seems weird.

I just wanna cry and die.

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#2

I'm really sorry to hear about your troubles and failures. You said you tried everything. So I assume that included massaging your boobs with oil, like Almond or Coconut oil and preferably mixed with a little fenugreek. 2 or more times a day for 15 minutes. Did you try pumping with Noogleberry or Bosom Beauty? Some women found that 1 hr/day pumping was not enough and had to go to 3 or 4 hours/day. But you should give your boobs a break and not pump every day, 3 or 4 consecutive days and then only massage with oil the rest of the week.
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#3

I think there are two things here you need to address



First, therapy. You cannot see yourself as a 0 human being just because a dickhead like your ex thinks girls must be like a X actress. I am not making assumptions or being mean, your former partner is trash. I have been there like you, in fact, the reason I joined this forum and this community in 2015 was because my ex boyfriend left me when I was dealing with an horrible illness back then that made me loose weight and was constantly bullying me because I was not enough for him anymore. I ended up adding depression to my anxiety disorder and that was the last thing I needed to keep up with my life. But it happened. And at some point I did not want to keep going on and I did not want to breathe anymore. But, my parents, my sister and few friends of mine push me to seek professional help and here I am 7 years later - still going to therapy once a month, but feeling anxious is not as hard as it used to be and depression is gone. And my perception of life and about myself have completely changed.


We tend to compare ourselves with everybody. And that's something we need to stop doing even it may take some time to change the habit. Following up what happened in 2015, let me tell you this:


In fact when I was trapped in such chaos, I used to be super jealous about my youngest cousin - she is tall, athletic, super beautiful, smart and guess what ? she has huge boobs. But really huge boobs, 36E. I thought I had to be like her but heck I am petite, and my breast size won't be never 36 because I am super tiny compared to her shoulders.  I was obsessed to be like her. I cried like 98765 times just because I knew it was not going to happen and got obsessed with growing (at 22 years old) and having a bigger décolleté.

When I found out this place, I was already working on my weight: I was only 42kg. No periods. Super skinny. People were making up rumours about me. My former partner (I call him Mr Psycho btw) kept telling people I was crazy and lost, so that was not helping at all to gain weight. But, with effort I gained some weight and I was able to bounce back my breast size. But I was still not satisfied because I KEPT looking to be like my cousin, so the frustration was insane. I was barely 32B and wanted to have at least another 4 cup sizes in 2016... I noogled a lot and all I got was 3cm in a year. You can picture the whole drama because I could not reach my goals.


So I was open about that part in my therapy journey - that I had unrealistic goals towards my body and I had such an anxiety because I knew I could not make it work or at least in a short period of time. SO I worked on that too, because self-esteem is a super complex puzzle and all the pieces must fit to be in harmony. It was tough, and nowadays after five years working on this, kinda sucks sometimes but I don't let my brain to bring me down just because I am 5" and I am not explosive.


What I am telling you is you need to be freaking honest and seek for help. Even reaching your NBE goals I don't think you will be happy with yourself because the human brain is a pain in the a$$ and as soon as you could have the breasts you desire you can easily pick another thing you don't really like about yourself and there we are again, back to square one.


You need to work on this honey. You cannot feel miserable about yourself.





The second thing we need to address here is: NBE can work, but you need to know what is missing in your body. We are not doctors here, but we know we are a bunch of hormones - especially women - and we rely on hormones a lot. On the other hand, this is about genetics too in my opinion. I think some people have better gens or more hormonal balance therefore they reach their goals sooner than others.


Luck or not, sometimes life is a rollercoaster. This is why it's good to take breaks and re-evaluate what is missing or what you need to do to feel better FROM THE INSIDE.





Take a break on this journey. Breathe. Seek for help. Work on yourself! And come back if you need so whenever you feel ready <3






PS: Last year my cousin confessed me she has self esteem issues. She is not happy the way she looks. She complains about her breast size and how difficult is to play sports (she plays soccer professionally) and being a woman. She receives lots of insults when she plays when the public is 90% male. She told me most of the guys she knows make assumptions about her and how harmful are certain comments.


I had no idea about this, and I feel sorry for her it has to be horrible to work in a male dominated work environment.

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#4

Yes i tried BO, chiyomilk program, japanese massage, chi massage, noogleberry, herbs, anti-androgens, deer antler spray, surferjoe’s diet, chest press and other gym exercise

EVERYTHING


I feel like i’m not normal, i look at super-skinny anorexic models and they have more breast tissue than me.

Therapy is something like shit, i did it for my eating disorder, BUT hey i had a eating disorder because of my horrible shape, my goal wasn’t be skinny like a model, but i tought it was the only right thing to accept myself. I don’t want a super skinny shape, i just want a normal shape with B/C cup and tummy, seddlebags and cellulite. With my size 0 and heavy workouts i’m not happy anyway.

Yes i should do surgery and have my size 0 with implants like every model, but this is not what i want. I dont want a size 0 and i dont want theese weird baloon shaped  implants in my body.

I dont care about my self esteem, nobody likes flat chest, it’s like have something wrong cause nobody is flat chested neither anorexic models. Nobody likes you for your Good things if you’re so weird.

I don’t wanna be like an X actress, just like every normal girl with fat and at least a B cup.

But hey, i think the last resort is to accept surgery or commit suicide.

I waste ton of money with this stupid nbe, enought to pay my implants.

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#5

Hey Cely,

Sounds like you're at your wit's end. Honestly, Sammy Ingram's youtube videos on appearance changes really helped me A TON. I LOOK TOTALLY DIFFERENT NOW. YOU CAN HAVE WHAT YOU WANT. No, you have NOT tried everything, trustt me. Even if you look at it and think it's all woo-woo and don't give her mindset techniques a fair chance, I know someone out there WILL, and they will benefit from it. I can't recommend it enough. Mental state is 100% the biggest factor in my NBE success.
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#6

Try it. Try law of assumption. CHANGE your thoughts and DO scripting and DO law of assumption. If you want your NBE success you WILL do it. I wanted it so badly and I did it. I put my thoughts and judgments aside. It costs literally nothing, just you changing your thoughts and beliefs. If you can't keep up with the program and take control of your mind, you don't want it badly enough. I am so adamant about it here because it's THE thing that led to success for me in NBE and so much more. I won't stop talking about it. Force your mind to control your body.

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#7

Girl I also tried the Japanese Chiyomilk method and you know it didn’t work . I am going to fat fat injections I’m saving up my money . You should gain weight and waist train for hourglass figure and either gain weight and get injection or get implants . Nothing is working for me either .

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#8

Thank you angelic, i’m always using law of attraction and also tried eggtopia’s subliminals, but it doesen’t seem to work. I don’t know what i’m doing wrong.

I want to do fat transfer but i’m not sure if i have a good amount of fat (silly girl, dieting and working out was a bad bad idea!)


Gaining weight is not an option, fat goes just on my thights, i was an AA cup despite my very very fat thighs.

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#9

(19-03-2022, 10:18 AM)Cely Wrote:  

Thank you angelic, i’m always using law of attraction and also tried eggtopia’s subliminals, but it doesen’t seem to work. I don’t know what i’m doing wrong.

I want to do fat transfer but i’m not sure if i have a good amount of fat (silly girl, dieting and working out was a bad bad idea!)


Gaining weight is not an option, fat goes just on my thights, i was an AA cup despite my very very fat thighs.  p>

Law of Attraction has made many people feel this way when their results are slow and vague. Law of Assumption is different. I don't have much time to talk more about it here but check out Sammy Ingram's videos on YouTube, that's what actually made a rapid difference for me. It was night and day compared to just subliminals and wishy-washy Law of Attraction. Try it. It's a very different set of ideas when you get into it.
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#10

(19-03-2022, 10:18 AM)Cely Wrote:  

Thank you angelic, i’m always using law of attraction and also tried eggtopia’s subliminals, but it doesen’t seem to work. I don’t know what i’m doing wrong.

I want to do fat transfer but i’m not sure if i have a good amount of fat (silly girl, dieting and working out was a bad bad idea!)


Gaining weight is not an option, fat goes just on my thights, i was an AA cup despite my very very fat thighs.


Just a warning, if you want to do fat transfer, it must be fat from close to your chest, on your back or upper arms is best. The farther away from your breasts, the less likely the cells will survive. If you take fat from your legs or bum, it is almost guaranteed to fail.
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