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Relationships & NBE (warning long post)

#11

Jannet, it's not even just that I'm worried he will play the field it's also the fact that I have this strong desire to be his fantasy dream girl. I guess that might be sort of superficial but that desire has consumed me.

Mindy I completely agree with you and it does worry me that I feel so scared by the idea of being open with him about this. I want to communicate with him about my fear of his judgment and what not but that also scares me lol.

Goodwill, I'm honestly afraid he would think it's ridiculous or even get frustrated with me for saying that I looked this stuff online. I don't want to risk him holding something like this against me. Or acting like it's cool after we talk about it some but then secretly thinking I'm a weirdo or something
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#12

heh I don't think wanting bigger boobs makes you a weirdo,i think that's something pretty much every girl would want, even if they don't openly admit it. maybe you could kind of fish around to try and get his reaction to your boobs growing. maybe just casually say something about your bra feeling tighter and wondering if your boobs are growing and then see how he reacts. if he reacts positively to it, maybe you could then make a joke like "ha! I wonder if I could google up how to make them grow!" and then get his reaction on that. just little things like that to feel him out and then maybe ease into it. who knows maybe he'll be paying for your supplements here in a few weeks lol
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#13

Daisy --

This is just my take on things... take what you will but I think you should find a relationship that enhances who you are, not one that makes you question who you are.

You should find yourself a partner who thinks you are perfect despite your flaws. Someone who loves you for you and not the body you happen to be in. Anyone who makes you feel insecure is harmful to your health and happiness (and not to mention, that relationship probably won't last!).

Be kind to yourself. Work on NBE if that is what you want and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Live for yourself and no one else and you will find that happiness follows.

All the best!
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#14

Goodwill, I don't think it makes me a weirdo either lol but I'm afraid of him not understanding it. He actually has bought me supplements before cause I told him "Oh I wanna get this because I want to be healthier etc" I feel bad because I didn't tell him the truth about why I wanted them but I really have this feeling he would be against it. I've told him I want plastic surgery & he said he would break up with me if I got any. I just have this feeling he is against people trying to change their appearance in a drastic way. (or at least the people he's involved with)

Sapphire thank you for your input and positivity! I do feel like I need to reset my perspective on everything and be motivated to continue this journey because of my desire to improve rather than because of someone else's preference. I think if I did that I would feel less pressure & stress and I'm almost 100% sure NBE is more successful with a positive mindset.
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#15

one thing you should be wary of is the ole tell em what they wanna hear technique. he may be afraid to go along with you on changing your body because hes afraid it might piss you off and make him look shallow, even though he might actually be fine with it or even want it. its tough to get the whole truth out of people on a lot of things.
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#16

Hi daisy. Listen girl, first off Imma lay it out here straight - I am jealous of your boobs. How's that for a confidence booster? Honestly, my boobs are so small and wide set, I have no cleavage at all even with bombshell bras, and I wear an A cup only because I'm too ashamed to shop in the training bra section, because in reality my measurements are for a AA. So for me, to have a B/C like yours would be a dream come true. So my first message for you is that you could be a lot worse off than you are. The first step to feeling good about yourself is to think about what you do have rather than what you don't. Do you mind if I PM you to ask about how you were able to gain weight?

I also started NBE because I was in a relationship with a shallow guy, years ago. Honestly the only reason I was with him was because I was lonely and had no self esteem, I never thought that anyone could ever find me attractive. My first attempt at NBE didn't work, he eventually cheated on me, and I left him, after wasting like 5 years of my life with him. The moral that I learned was don't date shallow guys, it's never worth it. It's hard to understand that when you're single and lonely, but after all the fighting and pain and wasted time and energy, I really wish I had just let myself stay single.

I am back to using NBE, but this time it's for me. That's what I would wish for everyone doing this. If you try to make yourself into what other people want you to be, you will always fail. But if you can look in the mirror every day and see yourself the way you want to be, with those big beautiful D's, then you can get somewhere with it. But allowing yourself to be stressed out and worried over what some guy thinks about your body is so not worth it. I think, if you want to date him, then go for it, don't let anyone tell you what not to do, but keep in mind that his opinion of you is just that, his own opinion. Yours is the only one that matters, because you are going to live with yourself for the rest of your life.
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#17

Goodwill, Yeah I think he wants it but would act like he doesn't hah. That is exactly why I shy away from telling him because it's easier for me to keep it to myself. It's like I have a secret life lol. I think the best thing to do is explain it as Bobbi said and explain I'm trying to get healthier while growing in the process.

Allie thank you so much for your input and sharing your personal experience with me. I have a fear that me and this guy will end up spending years together and the same thing will happen. I already relate to you about thinking it's better off to be alone than in a miserable relationship. I was single for years before this because it's hard for me to find someone I can relate to and that I could see myself long term with. I also feel like I might never meet anyone else but at this point I do feel like I am better off alone. I do want to make this journey about just me & what I want and I think that is great advice.

I want to try a bombshell bra SO bad but I never go in Victoria Secret (it's been years) because of their prices. I might ask for a gift card from my mom for Christmas lol.
You can definitely pm me about weight gain and I would love to have someone to talk about that with because it's a struggle for me bc I have a high metabolism. It seems like everyone else is trying to lose weight! But both struggles are very frustrating as you probably know. But yeah send me a pm and we can talk more! Smile
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#18

just as kind of a random comment/observation - I see a lot of the phrase "do it for yourself, not for anyone else" when it comes to making physical changes/improving yourself, and this has never made logical sense to me. cus if you think about it, the satisfaction you get from these changes is through OTHER people thinking you look better or whatever.

so in essence you are doing it for other people no matter how you look at it, which is perfectly normal and ok though IMO. I mean everybody has things that they want to change about themselves. I think there is a stigma about wanting to change yourself because people think for some reason it makes you look weak or that you have low self esteem, and that people use this phrase to justify their wanting to alter themselves.

I dunno, I just wish this stigma would go away because I feel there is nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself, as long as you don't obsess over your shortcomings and take time to acknowledge your positive attributes. /randomobservationoff
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#19

(03-12-2015, 17:47)Goodwill Wrote:  just as kind of a random comment/observation - I see a lot of the phrase "do it for yourself, not for anyone else" when it comes to making physical changes/improving yourself, and this has never made logical sense to me. cus if you think about it, the satisfaction you get from these changes is through OTHER people thinking you look better or whatever.

so in essence you are doing it for other people no matter how you look at it, which is perfectly normal and ok though IMO. I mean everybody has things that they want to change about themselves. I think there is a stigma about wanting to change yourself because people think for some reason it makes you look weak or that you have low self esteem, and that people use this phrase to justify their wanting to alter themselves.

I dunno, I just wish this stigma would go away because I feel there is nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself, as long as you don't obsess over your shortcomings and take time to acknowledge your positive attributes. /randomobservationoff

I am doing it because I want to be more sexy to my bf but also for my own enjoyment and because I like the look of it. I don't want to speak for everyone on here but I feel that a lot of the people do it because they want to look at themselves in the mirror and see a change. Or because they're like me and like the look of larger breasts. Not for other people's acceptance. But I totally understand where you're coming from because I do want to be more attractive to others (and to myself)
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#20

I went through something very similar. I guess I had always had insecurities about my breasts, especially after an ex of mine cheated on me with a chick with E cups. My current bf paid little to no attention to my breasts at the beginning and it definitely made me insecure. Especially when I saw that his ex has huge boobs. Something snapped in me 3 years ago and I have now grown several cup sizes. He loves my boobs, constantly sleeping in them and they get a lot of attention. Not to mention my self-esteem went up tons. I love that I look chesty in the right outfits now without wearing massive padding. I would never tell him about NBE though. I know for a fact he would judge me and be extremely turned off. It's my little secret.
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