[Pinnochia]

That is, as they used to say, the $64,000 question.
I need both the male and female sides of me to be happy. Sometimes I grit my teeth and decide that I want to be female full time and I'm ready to take the plunge and tell everyone. But since my middle name is 'procrastinate'. The pink fog rolls on and I'm back in the garage getting dirty.
Since I have gotten older I dont seem to have the desire to purge any more so keeping both boy and girl going at the same time is easy, no matter what my mental state is.
Now we come to the growing breasts... I'm glad that for me this is a slow process, I am thrilled everyday to see my breasts taking shape. I've tried to project what will happen when they get to big to hide, but that just drives me back to wanting to go femme full time and then the cycle continues as before.
Coming out as transgendered is never easy, but Catlin and the media has made this phenomena more open and not a weird as it once was. And there seems to be a growing acceptance. Now I guess you have to ask your self if you really feel the girl in wants to come out and stay out or not.
Is there a support group near you that you could go to? That might be the best place to go since they are in your same shoes and know the neighborhood.
Sorry, no easy answer, but talking and listening sometimes helps.
Bobbi

You're right Bobbi.. It's a balancing act to say the least..

My present strategy is small hints released visually through my clothing choice,, Not women's clothing in public necessarily,, but shirts that are of thinner material that cling in the proper way, that show the protrusions clearly at a side angle. Ones that allow the hang the shape and the slope of my chest to be more distinct,,,, sort of let people see through my clothes that hey,, that doesn't look right,, it looks more like boobs.. force them to do a subtle double take.

Then if they ask, i plan to be very open about what it is, and that its a part of me now for better or worse.
A funny story-
I purchased used bras in the beginning to get used to this , and i always got the wrong size, hence i had to purchase them often quite until i found the right ones for me.
Well, there's this little thrift shop close by our home, the women that run it (one in particular is very nosy,,,lol )and finally started making catty remarks about my purchases,.

She finally one day in front of other women said,thinking shed shame me,,, (" can i ask what your doing with all those bras") laughing as she said it.
I just looked up and said i have a physical condition that developed because of medicines the doctors used,, and then i lifted my tee shirt letting my boobs hang loose in full view.

I said ("as you can see i really need them.") bras.
There were four older women there mouths were wide open and they was a little mumbling and then one woman said ("oh that must be awful,, ,,,you do need to wear one) ,,, and shook her head.
Now when i shop there for (stuff),,lol,, theres never any waiting until women leave the room to search among the womens bras etc, i just go in and take care of my business,I dont wander around looking at the floor like a kid who,s done something wrong,,
I know they must say all kinds of things , some accurate and most not,,, but i have that uncomfortable conversation out of the way..and the look on their faces when i showed them my tits was priceless.