[1peachy]

I had a weird experience I am on BO for 3 months now. I have very good results. But one night I was trying to sleep but my boyfriend was really late and it was 1 hour at night. And he was really late, I called he did not pick up. And I decided to lay down, I was worried but not that much I thought he will be here probably any minute and peacefully layed my head down.
Then some weird thing happened suddenly a thought kinda screamed in my head. Something like : then just die, I hope you will be DEAD! I jumped up like a crazy person who heard something that wasnt there....And I was like huh, i dont want anybody to be dead? It did not felt like my thoughts and when I opened my eyes I saw weird shadows passing my white curtains.
And seriously I have been een atheist(somebody who doesnt believe in the supernatural neither support any form of faith)
So I was sceptical but I was a bit confused, this wasnt my thought and I felt like screaming No. I mean this wasnt me who thinks such mean things, certainly not about the people I love. And worst was I felt like someone was watching me and I kinda felt ashamed for thinking such a thing. I thought that these were the voices that mentally confused people talk about.

But uh I hope anybody can comfort us that this stuff is mentally safe...lol. I just try to block it out and see how I will go. For me the weird things happened when I was asleep or about to fall asleep. I had a weird Lucid dream In which I saw the same thing 6 hours long. I could not rest and could not wake up from the dream either. SO I never had weird things like these happening earlier. I always slept like a baby my whole life.
It is weird I have to admit....but we dont know what it does to our brain right?

Hormonal birth control can trigger depression, mood swings, anxiety, and exacerbate pre-existing mental health issues. It is entirely possible that hormonal bovine ovary glandular has a similar effect.

It sounds like you experienced intrusive thoughts that caused you distress. The 'voices mentally confused people talk about' are external auditory hallucinations, which from your description you did not have. It's possible to see shadows, etc. because of anxiety, and also 'hypnagogic hallucinations' are something that happen when you're on the brink of falling asleep, it's completely normal. This can be sounds, visions, feelings, etc, it's just part of falling asleep.

The OP needs to seek help with a professional. OP, I don't worship 'the goddess', I don't take any bovine glandulars. I would really suggest that you please see a professional and tell them about your experiences. They are consistent with psychosis. What you went through sounds very uncomfortable and distressing, please talk to a mental health professional.