I can relate a lot to what you wrote. Trust me, I've been there and still am there with hating my body and feeling completely unattractive and wanting a body that everybody would admit is sexy/gorgeous not just a few select people with a small breast fetish.
But I must correct you that those people do exist... the ones that love big breasts will always be the loudest and most common, but they exist. Check out subreddits for small breasts and petite bodies if you don't believe it, the comments of the regulars there are pretty uplifting, they can choose to look at any of the numerous big breasts online if they want they have all of the choice in the world but they choose to look at and praise the small ones.
I know that doesn't help you though. I also feel worthless for my small breasts and knowing they are viewed so low by most people. I also see all of the nasty hatefulness towards small breasts and constant praise and drooling over big ones. I want to experience having a sexy full figured body that I can be happy in.
For extreme cases such as yours where you even consider suicide I would suggest plastic surgery. I heard some good things about fat transfer on this forum and elsewhere as an alternative to silicone implants.
Even I'm considering it though I just really want to be natural but if it saves your life as a last resort it's worth it.