[PoisonIvy]

We are way too obsessed with our boobs. If somebody could see us touching and looking at them all the time, they'd think we are so in love with ourselves and our breasts lol.

Good luck with the aquarium check valve, I really hope it will fit and that the pump will stay on!

I just ordered Kinesio tape, it should arrive around Wednesday. It is supposed to work as a nipple stopper and hopefully I will be able to get rid of my soft ball once and for all.

So today is the first, did you end up taking pics and measurements? :-)

Lol. As of today I keep reminding myself that real and noticeable  growth isn't even suppose to happen until the three month/12 week mark. Which is also why you're not suppose to quit before then or you lose your progress. It made me feel a little bit better. I think my brain compares it to the people who seemed to have results faster than that, but realistically for the most part I think some people pick up on the swelling and interpret it as growth when they feel like they have results within a few weeks or they are also doing something else on top of it like taking supplements and that is where early growth is coming from. I do know it's a bit different for women who have breastfed before too. It made me feel a little bit better over being so ridiculous by getting disappointed when I'm not doing anything else like herbs and today is only the three week mark. I think it's because I've had so much failure with NBE that I just want a glowing sign that tells me okay, it's going to work this time. 
Good luck with the tape. Let me know how it goes. I haven't been doing anything to my nipples so they are becoming quite engorged atm lol. I seem to be allergic to everything tape wise and break out in a rash when I tape them down.

Ekkk no. I'm terrible. I was pretty bad on my diet yesterday so I didn't want to take a picture, measure anything, or step on a scale or anything because I knew I'd feel bad about myself. I really need to though. 

My program is still constantly changing a bit. I still do the 3 sets of pump and release and then pump and hold the rest of the time, but as of today I've changed it into doing the pump and hold for three hours 2x a day instead of for 1 hour 3x a day. So I'm pumping a ton at this point. I think it's because I'm trying to transition into trying the long 12 hour pump/hold thing soon with the valve and bra thing. This was my longest all in one session. I didn't want to just jump into doing that though, so I'm trying to ease into it. My breasts don't hickey anymore because I think my skin is use to it, but I have had them go purple/blue on me a few times recently from cutting off circulation which I know is a huge no/no so I feel like I'm never going to be able to do a decent amount of pressure because it doesn't take much for that to happen to them and my only hope is low pressure for a very long duration. I do worry a lot about if because I can't get to the pressures people talk about if it will still work for me, but my hope is that if it's a good enough pressure that it's causing swelling then it will be a good enough pressure to cause growth.

EDIT TO ADD SOMETHING POTENTIALLY OPTIMISTIC: I know I said before that it looks like based off the swelling that when they grow I think they are going to go wider first when it turns into growth, but It also looks like it's going to go a bit to the outer breast too more than anything. The funny thing about that though is if anything I specifically don't target that area when pumping just because I'm scared of it digging into my armpit area.

The optimistic part: I'm not sure if I've mentioned it but they aren't just two different sizes they are pretty much too different shapes because one is completely underdeveloped including the areola and everything. One of my fears was what if I do somehow even get it to grow and it's a different shape than the other or the areola doesn't grow. My other breast (the larger one that is actually developed) has more fat to the outer breast and bottom with pretty much nothing on top or to inner cleavage area (which is fine because it's a small B so I imagine it's just too small to really have any of that and would have to get larger first). An interesting thing that I never noticed before because I generally did not stare at my breasts like 40 times a day is that the areola on the larger breast looks slightly wider to the outer part and to the top. I don't know why I just assumed in the past that areolas were perfect circles or something lol. My swelling is actually causing the areola to swell up and go down too (which is weird because I didn't think it was possible for an areola to grow a bit and shrink so maybe it's just that it's swelling?) but it is also to the outer part of the breast a bit and to the top.
The reason why that is optimistic (provided my eyes aren't just playing tricks on me at this point lol) is that it looks like if my swelling actually turns into growth that my small breast should follow the same patterns as the larger breast, areola and all so if the swelling turns into growth hopefully this is a sign that my breasts will actually be twins (areola and all).

This does bring up a interesting point though about how suctioning in different ways can change the breast shape. I've heard that a lot on here. So I just find it interesting that it looks like my swelling (and hopefully eventual growth) doesn't really seem to care exactly where I press the domes because it seems to want to grow in a certain predestined way. Idk everything is honestly soooo early. I'm only three weeks in so it's not like I have actual growth yet, but I've gotten the swelling enough times now that I notice that this is the same pattern it swells in every single time.

It's not much, but I honestly need every bit of optimism I can atm because I'm pumping 7 hours a day now so I want to believe that symmetrical breasts are at the end of the tunnel, so if my swelling can give me even a tiny bit of hope that it looks like they will match at the end of this then it's enough to keep me going. It's funny that even with the swelling it's still sooo much smaller than the other, but it's the fact that it looks like it's swelling (and hopefully growing) in a similar manner/pattern that my other one did.