Hey, thank you for sharing your experiences with us, I am glad you could work things out.
I remember two things about my childhood/puberty. One thing was that I did not want to grow up or get taller. The kids I used to hang out with more or less frequently were my godmother's twin nieces. They were 3 years younger than me which, at a young age, did make a difference. I can recall younger kids being treated better than myself, the older one. Somehow this must have manifested in my brain and at some point I decided that I didn't want to grow any more. I started putting books and even weights on my head to stop myself from growing. I was around the age of 12 when it got really bad and I actually did stop growing around that time, too. I was, and still am, 5'1. Now this could be coincidence and might not necessarily have anything to do with my breasts, but I was terrified of growing in general, I would measure myself all the time, I knew the height of several things including tiles, wardrobes, so I could easily check if I had grown. I remember wanting to run away from home or maybe even kill myself(?) if I'd grow.
Second thing is, my dad had cheated on my mom several times during their marriage which I knew from a rather early age on since he had a son from his affair who used to stay with us every other weekend (my mom was ok with this because she said it wasn't the boy's fault).
I am adopted since my mom couldn't have kids and according to the lady who had arranged the adoption, my biological mom had given me up because she too, had had an affair with a married man who couldn't leave his family because he was a reputable businessman. (As I found out later after having talked to my birth mother, this wasn't even true, she must have been whoring around, which I don't mind at all if the guys were single, and says she doesn't even know who my father is.) But once again I was being confronted with those "bad" women who lured married men into their bed. I don't know why, at an early age, I had such a strong aversion to women who were having affairs with married men, maybe because I saw my mom devastated because of my dad's affair(s?). I am mad because it wasn't even true for my biological mother and I hated her and myself so long for believing I was the product of the dirty deed of a cheating married guy and his slut. So at some point, I started hating myself for being a slut, because I was a woman and this somehow turned me into a slut because my mom was one (not caring about her several one night stands with random guys, as she says, the only thing that got to me was the 'fact' that it was supposedly a married man). Talk about self-fulfilling prophecy, though, I've had my fair share of sex with guys I didn't really care about when I was still drinking and after breaking up with someone that I still loved. I wish my (adoptive) mom hadn't been lied to by the adoption agency about my heritage and hadn't been told that 'businessman' story which she passed on to me. I mean what were they thinking? That it would make me, as a baby, look more attractive to my family than knowing that I come from a mother who doesn't even know who she's been sleeping with? After all, the guy could have been married, as well, we don't know that, so I shouldn't be holding a grudge, they meant well after all. I was still disgusted with the idea of sex when pretty much everyone else my age had already lost their virginity. Up until this day, I am still twisted about this whole sex thing.
So yes, I didn't want to grow up as in growing up in general plus I didn't want to become a woman because this would automatically turn me into the slut I was meant to be because of allegedly having a slut as a biological mother.
That being said, my breasts are tubular and they say this is a congenital deformity, so I don't know. But then again, they just assume it's a congenital deformity, it only becomes apparent during puberty, so how would they know. I've also read about tuberous breast deformity being caused by 'trauma' to the chest, who knows if my fear of growing and of becoming a woman (=slut) caused enough psychological trauma to make my breasts end up that way. I don't necessarily believe this to be the case, but you never know.
It's been ages since I last wrote such a long text in English lol.
Take care!