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I just want to cry.. I feel hopeless.

#1

I am very upset, I just want to cry.. I feel hopeless and stupid :'(

I used to have a C/D cup (it fluctuated with my monthly cycle) in 2011 I randomly lost a ton of unexplained weight. I did nothing to cause these changes. I'm 5'8, normally 145ish. I went down to 120.. completely lost my chest..

I literally was almost pushing an A cup-- to be perfectly honest, I would actually prefer a natural A or B cup, small boobs are cute to me... but I am not that size, so when I lost weight it was like a balloon losing air. My chest was deflated and empty and smaller in size, but they did not look cute- they looked weird.. not to mention my aerolas match that of my old breast size..

I found out this year I have an polyp on my ovary and I am starting to think that is what messed around with my hormones & caused my weight loss. I think I am estrogen dominant. I think I have low progesterone.

I feel so fxxking lost, I dont know what to do anymore.. I have taken maca root which made me gain weight and I feel supplemented a lot of things I needed. I am back up to at least a C cup.

[Image: IMG_0132_1.jpg]

[Image: alruoz.jpg]

[Image: 2ck9oz.jpg]

[Image: IMG_6095.jpg]

[Image: IMG_6097.jpg]
this is my natural size.

& below is me pushing an A cup at my lowest weight at 2013

[Image: 2ur82sk.jpg]

so yeah, a lot of empty skin to fill.. what sucks the most is laying on my back, my bra is what make me look like I have a chest. My actual breast are sunken into my skin, and the excess skin makes it looks like I am like 75! (i'm 24..)

this is what I have managed to get myself back to--

[Image: 2nhnhoy.jpg]
[Image: IMG_5572_1.jpg]
this above picture is me very swollen from ovulation :/

[Image: IMG_7570_1.jpg]
but as you can see, my chest still doesnt fill up my bra

and don't be fooled by how they look in a bra, there is still excess skin and they flop everywhere unevenly because they are not firm at all, and they pretty much sag..

I have been doing so much research, I started to get really scared I have tubular breasts.. I dont know, I forgot how they used to look when they were full! I started panicking.. my body always has some fxxking problem.. I can't tell if they're tubular or not, or I just got used to them being empty and saggy and their shape changing.. I cant remember my firm chest like I had coming out of HS...

I am just so confused.. there are so many options.. this is why I cant stop crying..

For a while I thought I had an estrogen deficiency.. but because I swell up soo nicely (like a full cups worth) AFTER my ovulation, I think it has something to do with my progesterone..

I have been doing so much research on what could be wrong with me.. I have been having my BCP sitting on my desk for months but I am too scared to take it because my hormones are already crappy, i'm scared to make them worse..

so then I bought the stupid PM and now I am realizing I wasted my money on it.. I really wanted to try to take it-- but I know PM is only temporary growth.. I want something that will make them grow and stay. & I also JUST learned PM isnt good for ovarian cysts, and wont do anything for estrogen dominant women..

I do have an ovarian cyst, but idk if its because I have too much estrogen -__-

so then I found BO, which.. looks amazing.. but who the hell wants to return to puberty? I for sure's hell dont! I suffered horrible acne in my late teens, no way I want to return to that.. it was devastating.. its why I am scared to try my BCP.

I really want to change my breasts shape as well as size, so I found things on PC...

I am just so fxxking over whelmed.. like, wtf?? I wish my body could just be normal..

My thought process is like:
I am thinking of removing my cyst, maybe that can help my hormones? I am thinking to take BCP to balance them out, (my progesterone and my estrogen..) I think I shouldnt take anything too estrogen based because of my cyst, and I am thinking I am estrogen dominate, so who is to say PM will work for me? and again, I want permanent growth. OB! looks awesome, hate the side effects.. puberty? again? I can't. Then there is PC cream, which I actually really want-- but I don't know which one to buy...

I dont have the money to keep up regimens like this just to get my body back to the way its suppose to NORMALLY be! God, I would love to have BIGGER breast than I had! why can't I just work towards something I would LIKE to have, verses working on going back to how I was? that is what is frustrating me..

I had a total break down.. I am so confused.. I don't know what to do.. I should just get fat graphing or something..
(http://www.realself.com/Fat-transfer/reviews)

at the end of the day, NB looks really awesome.. people have been talking about swelling, permanent growth and changing the shape of the breast.. which I really want/need.

I am scared it wont work for me.. I am feeling so cynical.. ever since reading all this stuff on tubular breasts, I am worried I just will forever have something wrong with me and need serious measures to fix it.. I wish I never lost this crazy amount of weight for no reason.. I loved my body the way it was, even with my soft spots/tummy..

I want to fight to be better, not just to go back to the way I was....
Reply
#2

hey, i just stopped by to say i know what you're going through (although your measurements now are awesome and your boobs way better than mine, and your before measurements were insane!). The first thing that's important to remember is that stressing is terrible for your hormones. Have you talked to your doc about the cyst? if you have pcos they often putyou on bcp and although it doesn't really get to the route of the problem, it will sort out your hormones as long as you take it and a lot of people get relief from their symptoms this way. I'm not sure what happened with my hormones - it was probably stress - but going on bcp balanced me out and gave me enough boobage to make me a lot calmer. it might be just what you need to tone the stress down enough for your body to start repairing. What it helps to remember is that bodies fluctuate, and if this is what you're like at your worst you're very very lucky! I would love to have boobs like you currently have ! If you manage not to stress, your body will change again for the better, i bet. It's happened to me a lot.


ps- on bcp i took spearmint as an anti-androgen and goat's rue and fg to enhance my newly balanced hormones and that helped a lot. The slow approach , taking ly a few tablets each day has always worked better for me than panic-programs where i load myself with phytoestrogens and pc etc
Reply
#3

Tell ya what, hun. I understand your plight and depression, but I CERTAINLY wouldn't cry over tits like those!!!! Those'd be GREAT!!!!
Reply
#4

hey baby girl!!! find a calming time to just stop and enjoy what you have love!! easier said than done i know... i somewhat feel your pain. i was a 36DD , & went don't to a small 34C all loose n blah after losing over 30 lbs.

anyways.. i was taking BCP since i was 15 (I'm 22 now) i went on & off of it.. worst idea ever... i thought i was estro dom then progest dom i was all over the place. periods every 4 months, no periods, spotting, one boob bigger than the other, super outa balance blah blah blah ughhhhh....

my advice, if it means anything..

instead of doing the BCP since thats estrogen based, try the Depo Provera Progesterone Only BC shot. i've been taking that & using PM for a couple months now. along w/ massaging w/ cocoa butter lotion & noogleberry.

@ times i feel sooooo damn hopeless n even cry because I mis my DD's but i know eventually (hopefully by the end of the year fingers crossed) ill have them.. this is all natural, so it takes wayyy longer than popping Rx pills n getting implants u kno?

anyways, i would not take Maca cuz that will raise your Testosterone, and slow down your boob growth.

i kno i can't really be of much help cuz idk your history n background n stuff but i mean i feel like i can empathize w/ you after the nice boobs then weight loss then tryna get em back n feeling so hopeless n sad... :/

i guess what i would recommend first since u don't really know about your hormones, is to start massaging your boobs at least 2x daily, & purchase the Noogleberry, do hypnosis before bed or while noogling, and pressure points aka acupressure, i promise just these 4 things will firm n plump the girls n make them feel like they're a lil more heavy n not as "saggy" or "empty"

i did these while i took a break from my PM (still was on my Depo shot) n after every massage n pump i felt some difference..not a huge one, but it was something.

anyways, i hope everything works out for you love!
try going the "non-herbal" way cuz of your unbalanced hormones:

2 really good sites!!
http://www.breastnexus.com/showthread.php?tid=20386
http://www.growbreastsnaturally.com/how-...-naturally

good luck love <3 xox
Reply
#5

You can be just fine. Just focus on your health. Maybe you can come back to NBE, when your health improves to do it naturally.

Do you know of any changes that caused you to lose weight? Difference in physical activity, stress, moving? Sometimes, if muscles don't face enough resistance, it causes muscle loss, then less hunger, then a loss in weight. Could it be chemicals in the environment? You said you haven't changed eating habits, so are you sure nothing in your eating habits changed? The polyp could be causing the imbalance as you said.

I'm not sure if pcos is caused by estrogen dominance. While the suggestion of spearmint was well meant, spearmint raises hormones associated with estrogen dominance. It raises LH and FSH, which raise estrogen or testosterone. Estrogen is synthesized from testosterone. Based on spearmint's effects, I believe it raises testosterone then converts it into estrogen, To raise estrogen while lowering testosterone, White Peony is a better option than spearmint.

Bcp's are usually both estrogens and progestogens together.The suggestions for BCP's were good, and it is also mentioned in Wikipedia and NLM's encyclopedia for helping with PCOS. If PCOS is caused by estrogen dominance, prolactin and progestogens lower estradiol.

Look into massage, fiber, green tea, hops, progestogenic herbs, or enough vitamins (from food or supplements). While green tea is considered estrogenic, it lowers DHT, and it lowers problems associated with PCOS, too much also lowers breast volume. I think it would help with PCOS too. Hops raises prolactin, which is helpful against estrogen dominance. Massage raises prolactin. Here is NLM's encyclopedia about PCOS, and it supports what you said about weight changes. You can ask your doctor about PCOS and hormones, because they know more.

I wonder if PCOS is associated with DHT,;considering that PCOS related symptoms come with other symptoms that are caused by DHT.

I hope you feel better.
Reply
#6

(14-10-2014, 11:30 AM)isobasic Wrote:  hey, i just stopped by to say i know what you're going through (although your measurements now are awesome and your boobs way better than mine, and your before measurements were insane!). The first thing that's important to remember is that stressing is terrible for your hormones. Have you talked to your doc about the cyst? if you have pcos they often putyou on bcp and although it doesn't really get to the route of the problem, it will sort out your hormones as long as you take it and a lot of people get relief from their symptoms this way. I'm not sure what happened with my hormones - it was probably stress - but going on bcp balanced me out and gave me enough boobage to make me a lot calmer. it might be just what you need to tone the stress down enough for your body to start repairing. What it helps to remember is that bodies fluctuate, and if this is what you're like at your worst you're very very lucky! I would love to have boobs like you currently have ! If you manage not to stress, your body will change again for the better, i bet. It's happened to me a lot.


ps- on bcp i took spearmint as an anti-androgen and goat's rue and fg to enhance my newly balanced hormones and that helped a lot. The slow approach , taking ly a few tablets each day has always worked better for me than panic-programs where i load myself with phytoestrogens and pc etc

thank you so much ;__; I am so relieved, I was so scared I wouldnt get supportive replies! but yours and everyones made me feel so much better-- with that being said, no.. I havent spoken yet. I am going to make an appointment tomorrow, I am thinking about getting the cyst removed, it causes me a lot of pain and I bleed a lot during ovulation (sorry tmi) :x

you made me feel loads better about BCP, thanks! my bcp supposedly has low androgen, (its ortho cylen) but any low androgen is a good thing, so I will look into more things that will lower my androgens too.

what is ly? do you think using pc or phytoestrogens while on BCP isnt good? I was thinking of going on bcp with BO and PC-- but im not sure anymore :/

btw, I am sure your breasts are gorgeous. no one breast are better than the other <3 all boobies are great <3 SmileWink
Reply
#7

(15-10-2014, 12:31 AM)Missed Miss Wrote:  Tell ya what, hun. I understand your plight and depression, but I CERTAINLY wouldn't cry over tits like those!!!! Those'd be GREAT!!!!

lol thank you, love. But trust me, the stretched skin really isn't all that attractive Sad if they could be naturally smaller, I wouldnt care. I just wish they would fill back out.
Reply
#8

(15-10-2014, 04:23 AM)34TrippleDs Wrote:  hey baby girl!!! find a calming time to just stop and enjoy what you have love!! easier said than done i know... i somewhat feel your pain. i was a 36DD , & went don't to a small 34C all loose n blah after losing over 30 lbs.

anyways.. i was taking BCP since i was 15 (I'm 22 now) i went on & off of it.. worst idea ever... i thought i was estro dom then progest dom i was all over the place. periods every 4 months, no periods, spotting, one boob bigger than the other, super outa balance blah blah blah ughhhhh....

my advice, if it means anything..

instead of doing the BCP since thats estrogen based, try the Depo Provera Progesterone Only BC shot. i've been taking that & using PM for a couple months now. along w/ massaging w/ cocoa butter lotion & noogleberry.

@ times i feel sooooo damn hopeless n even cry because I mis my DD's but i know eventually (hopefully by the end of the year fingers crossed) ill have them.. this is all natural, so it takes wayyy longer than popping Rx pills n getting implants u kno?

anyways, i would not take Maca cuz that will raise your Testosterone, and slow down your boob growth.

i kno i can't really be of much help cuz idk your history n background n stuff but i mean i feel like i can empathize w/ you after the nice boobs then weight loss then tryna get em back n feeling so hopeless n sad... :/

i guess what i would recommend first since u don't really know about your hormones, is to start massaging your boobs at least 2x daily, & purchase the Noogleberry, do hypnosis before bed or while noogling, and pressure points aka acupressure, i promise just these 4 things will firm n plump the girls n make them feel like they're a lil more heavy n not as "saggy" or "empty"

i did these while i took a break from my PM (still was on my Depo shot) n after every massage n pump i felt some difference..not a huge one, but it was something.

anyways, i hope everything works out for you love!
try going the "non-herbal" way cuz of your unbalanced hormones:

2 really good sites!!
http://www.breastnexus.com/showthread.php?tid=20386
http://www.growbreastsnaturally.com/how-...-naturally

good luck love <3 xox

Did you ever find out your dominance, if you had any? I have never not gotten a period, mine are so heavy :/

I know how you feel exactly! How long have you been trying to get your size back? I am glad to hear you are almost towards your goal!

Does PM really work? I heard that its only temporary-- I heard BO is better for permanent growth.. I know PM has a lot of phytoestrogens, and BO causes hormones to go wild- so thats why I am kind of weirded out trying to take them :/ did PM make lasting results for you?

Maca raises testosterone!?!?! :OOOO I thought all my breast growth coming back from my almost A cups was thanks to Maca. Yeesh, now I have no idea.

thank you SO much for your advice, of course it means a lot to me ^__^ and you know first hand what I am coming from, so thank you for empathizing with me.. I dont feel so alone <333333

you're super sweet, thank you so much ;__;
Reply
#9

(15-10-2014, 06:01 AM)lovely11 Wrote:  You can be just fine. Just focus on your health. Maybe you can come back to NBE, when your health improves to do it naturally.

Do you know of any changes that caused you to lose weight? Difference in physical activity, stress, moving? Sometimes, if muscles don't face enough resistance, it causes muscle loss, then less hunger, then a loss in weight. Could it be chemicals in the environment? You said you haven't changed eating habits, so are you sure nothing in your eating habits changed? The polyp could be causing the imbalance as you said.

I'm not sure if pcos is caused by estrogen dominance. While the suggestion of spearmint was well meant, spearmint raises hormones associated with estrogen dominance. It raises LH and FSH, which raise estrogen or testosterone. Estrogen is synthesized from testosterone. Based on spearmint's effects, I believe it raises testosterone then converts it into estrogen, To raise estrogen while lowering testosterone, White Peony is a better option than spearmint.

Bcp's are usually both estrogens and progestogens together.The suggestions for BCP's were good, and it is also mentioned in Wikipedia and NLM's encyclopedia for helping with PCOS. If PCOS is caused by estrogen dominance, prolactin and progestogens lower estradiol.

Look into massage, fiber, green tea, hops, progestogenic herbs, or enough vitamins (from food or supplements). While green tea is considered estrogenic, it lowers DHT, and it lowers problems associated with PCOS, too much also lowers breast volume. I think it would help with PCOS too. Hops raises prolactin, which is helpful against estrogen dominance. Massage raises prolactin. Here is NLM's encyclopedia about PCOS, and it supports what you said about weight changes. You can ask your doctor about PCOS and hormones, because they know more.

I wonder if PCOS is associated with DHT,;considering that PCOS related symptoms come with other symptoms that are caused by DHT.

I hope you feel better.

Hmm, the only thing I can think of is stress, but I have been stressed before and it never effected my weight-- I noticed when I took a multi vitamin and maca my weight came back, thats how my chest got back up from the small B.

I did notice that my weight started changing around the time my periods started changing and I felt the cyst pain, thats why I linked the two :/

Yes I heard BCP is good for the cyst, but I really want to take BO or PM or PC for my breast size and hormones-- so I dont know which route to take Sad I dont want them to interfere with my cyst or BC, but as you said, I think I should get healthy before I do any NBE.. maybe I can noogle while I wait to get my body in order.. I was thinking of seeing and Endocrinologist..

estradiol, I am not sure what that controls over. ^^;

"Hops raises prolactin, which is helpful against estrogen dominance."

thank you! I will look into that!

you were so informative, thank you so much! <3
Reply
#10

(15-10-2014, 07:08 AM)missboobshirt Wrote:  
(15-10-2014, 04:23 AM)34TrippleDs Wrote:  hey baby girl!!! find a calming time to just stop and enjoy what you have love!! easier said than done i know... i somewhat feel your pain. i was a 36DD , & went don't to a small 34C all loose n blah after losing over 30 lbs.

anyways.. i was taking BCP since i was 15 (I'm 22 now) i went on & off of it.. worst idea ever... i thought i was estro dom then progest dom i was all over the place. periods every 4 months, no periods, spotting, one boob bigger than the other, super outa balance blah blah blah ughhhhh....

my advice, if it means anything..

instead of doing the BCP since thats estrogen based, try the Depo Provera Progesterone Only BC shot. i've been taking that & using PM for a couple months now. along w/ massaging w/ cocoa butter lotion & noogleberry.

@ times i feel sooooo damn hopeless n even cry because I mis my DD's but i know eventually (hopefully by the end of the year fingers crossed) ill have them.. this is all natural, so it takes wayyy longer than popping Rx pills n getting implants u kno?

anyways, i would not take Maca cuz that will raise your Testosterone, and slow down your boob growth.

i kno i can't really be of much help cuz idk your history n background n stuff but i mean i feel like i can empathize w/ you after the nice boobs then weight loss then tryna get em back n feeling so hopeless n sad... :/

i guess what i would recommend first since u don't really know about your hormones, is to start massaging your boobs at least 2x daily, & purchase the Noogleberry, do hypnosis before bed or while noogling, and pressure points aka acupressure, i promise just these 4 things will firm n plump the girls n make them feel like they're a lil more heavy n not as "saggy" or "empty"

i did these while i took a break from my PM (still was on my Depo shot) n after every massage n pump i felt some difference..not a huge one, but it was something.

anyways, i hope everything works out for you love!
try going the "non-herbal" way cuz of your unbalanced hormones:

2 really good sites!!
http://www.breastnexus.com/showthread.php?tid=20386
http://www.growbreastsnaturally.com/how-...-naturally

good luck love <3 xox

Did you ever find out your dominance, if you had any? I have never not gotten a period, mine are so heavy :/

I know how you feel exactly! How long have you been trying to get your size back? I am glad to hear you are almost towards your goal!

Does PM really work? I heard that its only temporary-- I heard BO is better for permanent growth.. I know PM has a lot of phytoestrogens, and BO causes hormones to go wild- so thats why I am kind of weirded out trying to take them :/ did PM make lasting results for you?

Maca raises testosterone!?!?! :OOOO I thought all my breast growth coming back from my almost A cups was thanks to Maca. Yeesh, now I have no idea.

thank you SO much for your advice, of course it means a lot to me ^__^ and you know first hand what I am coming from, so thank you for empathizing with me.. I dont feel so alone <333333

you're super sweet, thank you so much ;__;

well tbh i never got my hormones checked, i just kinda guessed seeing how my periods were & doing research n stuff.. i feel like PM is permanent, i went up to a full D cup i believe from PM (and massaging/ NB) so i believe in it... I'm on PM again (2000mg daily) idk about BO, i was thinking about taking it after my PM.... I know ima be super annoyed w/ the full "going thru puberty again" thing.. but i didn't really break out much so we'll see.. i think PM actually makes me break out a lil cuz of the estrogen..i have a couple pimples here n there.. but i put on toothpaste n they go away after a week or so :/

well i read that Maca adds testosterone cuz it makes your butt bigger which puts on muscle which is due to testosterone.. idk i could be wrong but thats what i've researched lol.. if u think maca is helping u w/ your boob growth keep going love!! =D

hope all is well & good luck xoxo
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