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I think this estrogen in the BCPs is doing something. I tried some bras on at the mall yesterday and noticed that they were all giving me kind of insane (for me) cleavage and seemed to be squishing them up more. I went home and tried on a B cup that I own for some reason and it kinda fits. My friend says she thinks I look like a B cup. Hopefully it will add some padding to my butt. Not looking forward to extra weight on the thighs, they already won't fit into any pants (but that is partially thanks to the tons of muscle I have in my legs from high T).
There has definitely been a change but sadly I don't feel good about it. It's not just that I suspect it's swelling and not real growth. It's that I have seen what a B looks like and I doubt I'll even be pleased with a C because my ribcage is just so large and my gut is horrendous that it doesn't really change the fact that I don't look good in any clothes (let alone without clothes). Larger breasts could just contribute to this topheavy appearance.
Posts: 31
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Joined: Sep 2011
Well it turns out that that 34B bra that I had around is like a balconette bra, so that explains why I was unsure about the fit. I bought a regular demi bra and a pushup bra from VS today, both 34B, which fit great! I'm pretty sure that this is the BCPs at work, but now that I think back some of the fitting issues that became really problematic in the last few weeks started happening a couple months ago. How frustrating! I obsess over this and yet in hindsight I never seem to be observant enough!
Anyway, I like the fullness, but let's hope some real growth happens! For my shape and size, I think a C would look best.
Since my mood is being affected in some bad ways by this medication, I think that I will add PC in the luteal phase from now on, since that seemed to do good things to my mood. I am leery of progestins. I wish that I could omit all of the progestin-containing pills but unfortunately I need them for the estrogen also contained in them :/
Posts: 31
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Joined: Sep 2011
Welp, I've switched BCPs to another triphasic which has less androgenic activity (from Triphasil to Ortho-tricyclen) and nothing has changed. Acne still bad, skin still dry, hair not going away, and body odor getting worse. I've gained 10-15 pounds in the last 6 months and I would bet that it's related to the hormones. I want to quit the pills because pretty much the only good thing that's come out of this has been my breasts getting a bit fatter, but I don't care how big they are if they still have this shape.
I don't want to go on an antiandrogen because generally when people come off an antiandrogen the androgenic effects return stronger than ever, and I'm not quite ready to give up on my body's capacity to balance itself.
I haven't been taking any nutritional supplements since I started school in August, and I didn't actually bring back the PC until my current cycle. I'll start back on all of those when I go home next week. In a week or two I'll also start Lamictal for type 2 bipolar. The most I'm hoping for is that the lamictal will help me deal with stress and lose weight and stop the appetite problems, and the vitamins could help with my skin and odor and eyebrow loss. (Don't know if I've mentioned it before, but since spring, eyebrows have been falling from the inner parts of my eyebrows.)
It's kind of funny, my self-esteem has gotten so poor, especially over the last six months, that I don't worry about my breasts much anymore. Because I've ceased to feel like they could ever be the thing that deters me from being involved in an intimate relationship - just a drop in the bucket among the things that make me feel unattractive and unworthy. Sex is well, well, well off the table for me, and the implicit expectation of sex as well as my anxiety about relationships in general put any intimate relationships off the table.
I realize this thread/journal has sort of ceased to be about breasts, but it's just because no progress has happened and I don't see it happening. One day I may go to someone who has knowledge of hormone therapy for underdeveloped breasts but I don't know how I'll do that since my health care is mediated by my parents due to insurance and the difficulty I have communicating with people and managing myself.
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Yeuch.
I hear you girl...
Honestly I think you should give anti-androgens some serious thought. But not the typical medically prescribed crap. Those all have too many "side" effects. (Considering they were actually developed originally for different purposes and they then realized, oh, hey, these also do a good job blocking testosterone, lets use it for that too!)
Anyways. There's plenty of safe herbs to use for an anti-androgen. Saw Palmetto is a major one. Chinese Skullcap is another major one. Spearmint/Peppermint tea are a third major one. Don't go near licorice, it's worse than the prescription crap.
I understand the desire to try to let your body balance itself... but it doesn't seem that your body's wanting to do that
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Blomst, I have read your thread. All I can tell you is my experience with BC. BC killed my libido, made me moody, irritable, and terribly depressed and weepy. They turned me into an emotional wreck! Eventually they even made me gain weight which is hard to do as well.
I tried 2 over a course of 4 years (the patch and the ring... can't take the pill kind) and I wish I never did. My libido has never really returned though everything else finally went back to "normal". Just reading your posts reminded me of the many horrors I endured with BC. I'll never touch or take them again.
In the end it's your decision but I highly recommend not taking them. I know some say you just gotta find the right one but yikes! To me it's not worth what I went through or what you written about.
:::hugs:::
