[MadameBusty]

I feel the need to pour some of my feelings and thoughts out right now as the current situation is and has been affecting my program. My Oma has had a stroke(the 2nd in her life) she is progressively getting worse each day, I havnt been consistent with my program for this reason because I can barely eat one meal let alone take everything and am barely sleeping, boob growing is very trivial right now compared to someone you love deeply dying that's a given, I am trying to still do my program because it does make me happy but happiness is so fleeting right now anyways as I am grieving so heavily and am in a constant state of sadness or numbness, it's times like these that remind you how everyone/everything else is so small compared to a loved one leaving this Earth. I know this space is all about NBE and I will be trying but I needed to be honest and say I havnt been able to be truly consistent since all this tragedy started. My Oma is my everything and I have been praying to God that she be in comfort, I have been at the hospital daily, I am the only one she will talk to, I am the only one that can get her to listen to the nurse, to get her to feel comfort in her last moments, so I have been having to be there as without me she will barely be coherent to my dad or anyone, she keeps telling me how much she loves me, she cannot move more than her right arm and feet and not speak much other than struggle to say she loves me and her usual words/phrases. I am truly broken right now. I am taking a break from posting and from the site as reality has set in about importance.

[MadameBusty]

Hi everyone, I thought I would come on here and touch base as I noticed some of you had PM'd me with support(that means so much, I apologise I havnt had the strength to reply)
My Oma ended up passing, she was in a complete vegetative state, unable to move, unable to speak, and progressively worsened to the point we were advised by the medical team to help her be at ease with Morphine. It was an incredibly hard decision, but she had absolutely no quality of life anymore after the stroke and my Oma was always one to say she never wants to end up in such a state, so we ultimately did the right thing for her. It's been an extremely heartbreaking couple weeks, everyone around me has told me to keep trying to function and to keep trying to find happiness in things that usually do that for me because my Oma only ever wanted me to smile, the bond we shared was like no other person had with her, being I was her favourite granddaughter, it has been a very heavy loss for me. I have been doing my best to function, eat, occupy my mind etc, we are awaiting collection of her ashes, and soon she will be back with us exactly where she only ever wanted to be, so this will bring me some comfort as I know for certain she will be watching over me as I am a huge believer in spirits and an afterlife of some sort and she was a very firm believer of God.

As I said I have been doing everything I can to function and occupy my mind, this has included my program as it does bring me joy, along with gaming, binging tv series, shopping and so on, so I have been heavy on my program again for about a week and a half now with some very slight tweaks to my program but mostly the exact same, these small tweaks are the following, 1500mg MSM at day ASWELL as the 1500mg night dosage I was already taking, and then I have been enthralling myself into researching TCM(Traditional Chinese Medicine) in which had brought me to starting a circulation and beauty type program with regularly drinking a tea made of Dried Jujube(Chinese Red Date), Dried Longan, and Dried Ginger, I have been studying TCM for some time now alongside my love for regular herbal medicine, as it's very complex learning about Qi, Yang(heat) and Yin(cold), I had realised I am seemingly quite Yang deficient, as I always have cold feet/hands, fatigue, insomnia, depression, anxiety, digestive issues on and off, and so on, and this has been the case for my whole life, so I am working on warming up my body starting with this simple but very delicious and powerful tea. Ginger and Longan are completely non hormonal, with both not containing any phytoestrogens, however Jujube has slightly estrogenic compounds, but regardless a huge array of benefits same as the first two. This tea is incredible for nourishing and tonifying depleted Qi(vital energy or life force) which is very depleted when you are yang(heat) deficient aswell as nourishing blood, this tea boosts circulation big time, fights inflammation, is extremely beneficial to digestive health, has great skin beautifying properties(the women commonly drink this as a beauty tea in China and Korea), boosts immune system, is rich in Vitamin C/antioxidants/iron, has anxiolytic/calming/sleep boosting properties which have been proven in studies, along with other benefits aswell. I make this tea the proper traditional way rather than buying pre packaged in a tea bag as it's easier to get a more potent, portioned and good quality tea this way. I bring to the boil in a pot 1.5L of water on the stove, I chop up 25 dried longan pulps, 8 dried jujube(thinly sliced), and grab a handful of dried ginger(less than a handful if you have big hands as this may be just too much, dried ginger is very potent in taste), I add these to the boiling water and boil for a couple minutes, before turning down the heat and letting simmer for 25 minutes, this allows for all properties to fully infuse and bring out the full flavour and benefits. The result is a very potent health packed sweet but spicy/warming tea, I find it to be very comforting which I'll take anything comforting right now. So yes the tea and the doubled dosage of MSM is all that's changed, otherwise my program is still the exact same.
I have grown abit more since I last posted but I won't talk about that just yet and will post again when I have a bigger update. For now I am just keeping myself occupied and focusing on accepting and living without my Oma. I have also managed to completely stay true and solid with my having quit smoking, even with everything that's happened I still hadn't touched even one smoke, I know my Oma would be proud as she always wanted me to quit, I am very proud of me myself. Today marks just over 3 weeks quit cold turkey, and I am never going back.

[Mashtenn]

My condolences to you.  I know it has been tough on you.  My advice to you is to is to stay strong.  I'm sure your OMA would have wanted it.

[MadameBusty]

Thank you Mashten 
I have a little update, I am now measuring 43 inches at nipple level/bust, still the same underbust. I am coping ok, still finding myself randomly getting very down, sleeping alot when down because the grief makes you very tired. Still waiting on receiving my Omas urn, hopefully soon she will be back with us. I am making up another of my DIY herbal infused oils with herbs and EOs same recipe as I've listed before and will let infuse for minimum 2 weeks(my current batch is dwindling but hopefully it lasts till this new one is infused fully)
Hope everyone is well.

[MadameBusty]

I just wanted to pop by and talk about some findings I came across when doing research about jujube, ginger and Longan in particular! Studies have found that not only does jujube enhance estrogen signalling, but also initiates the cAMP/PKA/CREB pathway which as posted about ginseng before on the forums, is a major breast growing pathway! This explains why whenever I drink it or eat the dried Jujube(soo delicious) I get aches in my breasts. In saying that for anyone wanting to try this potent pro NBE, pro circulation tea, you always want to buy premium quality dried or fresh from an actual Chinese medicine/herbal shop as this is where you will get the real stuff considering these are Chinese herbs/fruits we are working with(if western herbs you would want to buy from an actual herbalist/naturopath/herbal farm etc), making the tea fresh, rather than pre bagged and lacking quality, is always best, as I've said I have a recipe, I buy these things from a TCM shop in Sydney and I wash them, chop them and boil them in a big pot on the stove to make the tea   and there's a huge difference compared to when I would buy the more processed stuff already pre bagged/in a sachet. Longan also has been shown to decrease cortisol(stress hormone which is negative to NBE) and increase GABA which GABA can increase HGH as a result. The great thing about this tea is you can drink it cold or hot and it's delicious either way, meaning you can make a big batch and refrigerate it for up to 3 days drinking it cold during the summer or reheating it for winter by simply adding some to a cup and pouring in extra boiled water(don't microwave tea as this has been shown to reduce properties and also cause the tea to sour/bitter)
Anyways just thought I would stop by and let y'all know this.

[MadameBusty]

I totally forgot to say, I was doing my groceries the other day and have bought a bunch of drinks/foods for gut/immune health and beauty! These include things like a premium organic chicken bone broth which I will be drinking throughout the weeks, Kombucha which I absolutely love and will also be drinking throughout the weeks and also an all natural Swedish yoghurt blend very high in probiotics, on-top of focusing on NBE and skin health I've also been focusing on circulation and gut health, all these things have improved greatly since I quit smoking(I'm 1 month 1 week cold turkey, cravings ceased completely week 2) and have been drinking my TCM teas, anyways nothing's changed with my actual program still all the same, however these drinks/foods are actually very beneficial to nbe anyways lol bone broth is high in arginine, glutamine, glycine, lysine etc etc many of the amino acids that help boost HGH and also bone broth is exceptionally high in collagen and protein without causing weight gain, these things just being among the many benefits of the broth. Kombucha has actually been proven to increase GABA aswell so that's a plus too. I'm super excited as I've been feeling so healthy physically lately with my regular program, my TCM beauty and circulation tea, my gut health focused on and also the fact I have no vices now as I rarely drink alcohol and don't go out like that. Anyways I figured its important to post these things as whilst I'm not drinking the broth/Kombucha and all these foods for NBE they do have a big plus for NBE as is.