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Telling your other half about NBE

#11

Sorry it's not going well for you.
I have tried to approach the subject, (it's kinda obvious with the supplements in the cupboard, and he sees me massaging after showering, and he's seen my NB but his only interest in it is watching the breast in the dome for about 5 minutes then he wants it off for other reasons  Dodgy ) 
No, I dont 'noogle' in front of him but I did show him and tell him about the science behind it (trying to keep true to the 'No Secrets' concept) and with that he said twice during sex that he wanted to see my breasts in the domes.

I've been with my spouse for 27 years and only married for the last 2.5 of them,... (I wouldnt marry until he had his porn addiction in remission) he has no interest in even seeing my breasts except once a week,... (if I'm lucky). He conditioned himself over the years (of viewing porn) to only notice 'other' women, (even though he stopped over 5 years ago, he never reconditioned himself, and has no interest in doing so).

Makes this whole daunting process even more depressing, especially when I gain weight so easily when I try something different/new. Makes the option of just trying something scary as hell.

Sorry, I dont know why I offered this info, just one of those days.
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#12

(19-02-2020, 18:20)StormyAngel Wrote:  I've been with my spouse for 27 years and only married for the last 2.5 of them,... (I wouldnt marry until he had his porn addiction in remission)

Would you say have a porn addiction because I spend time on this site, and I like to look at pictures of women's breasts?
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#13

(19-02-2020, 19:40)James98 Wrote:  
(19-02-2020, 18:20)StormyAngel Wrote:  I've been with my spouse for 27 years and only married for the last 2.5 of them,... (I wouldnt marry until he had his porn addiction in remission)

Would you say have a porn addiction because I spend time on this site, and I like to look at pictures of women's breasts?

No,... that sounds normal.
However I dont know you well enough... 
Would you rather be on this site than look at or have sex with your partner?
Do you have PIED? (Porn induced ED)
Do you turn down advances from your partner and later lock yourself in a room to masturbate to porn?!

Porn Addiction is part of a Sex Addiction
https://www.drdougweiss.com/what-is-sex-addiction/

https://sexaddict.com/sex-addiction-and-...ion-tests/

https://virtual-addiction.com/online-pornography-test/

It's a REAL thing, he went though a 'recovery' program for the porn but quit when it got to repairing the relationship, in his mind he stopped the habit, that's all that matters.
He's also an Intimacy Anorexic,... (which came 1st, who knows - he wont do the work)

My recovery never happened, cost too much, too much work, not important.
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#14

Wow stormyangel sounds like you have the patience of a saint! When my partner mentioned watching porn I asked him how he would feel knowing I was watching porn. He said he was fine with it, but When I asked in a different way “so you wouldn’t mind me looking at hot guys with big members and getting off to it” he didn’t like that so much. So he stopped. Some people don’t have a problem with their spouses watching porn, but I have to say I ain’t one of them. 
James98 I don’t know if I’m brave enough to just sit there pumping one evening and wait for his reaction. I wish I hadn’t made this such a big deal in my head already - I think that’s the main issue here! 
Anyway I’m looking into starting some herbs as well as back to massaging and pumping. I haven’t done herbs yet. But I did do a year of massage and pumping then stopped when we moved in together. Now I want to start up again, so whether I like it or not Hes gonna have to know one way or another!
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#15

(19-02-2020, 20:06)StormyAngel Wrote:  
(19-02-2020, 19:40)James98 Wrote:  Would you say have a porn addiction because I spend time on this site, and I like to look at pictures of women's breasts?

No,... that sounds normal.
However I dont know you well enough... 
Would you rather be on this site than look at or have sex with your partner?
Do you have PIED? (Porn induced ED)
Do you turn down advances from your partner and later lock yourself in a room to masturbate to porn?!

Well, I can truefully say none of the above. Re: watching porn, I would think a healthy relationship if both partners watch together, not so much if one does in secrecy.
Thanks for the input, sometimes I wonder about myself as some women on this site have described me as a pervert because I am here. Just for the record, I'm retired, separated about 20 years, would like find a girlfriend.

I want to add that I admire all you women, I think that as a group you all want to better yourself and it goes well beyond nbe, including exercise to keep trim, dress and work to make yourself attractive, and many of you are university students or have your own business. And I am here because I want to help by trying to collect info on what works and pass it on.
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#16

(17-02-2020, 19:27)Happyme Wrote:  
(17-02-2020, 16:34)Elize6 Wrote:  
(13-02-2020, 07:03)MariaAM Wrote:  hey! i've told my partner about it, i dont even remember how it came up. But thankfully he was very supportive of it. And later into it, he asked some questions about it. Like, do you think it works/is working? how does it feel? I explained it to him, and the supposed science behind it (from my understanding). I guess we treat it like me wanting to improve my body, similar to going to the gym to lose/gain weight, or to get fit. He would prefer i do this over a boob job, and I also agree. I also wanted to make it clear, that I want to do this for myself. 

I'm happy with my body, and still want to improve - i wanted him to see that. It was a touchy subject at first, but I couldnt hide it from him either. Now i give him updates every now and then. When i dont talk about it much, hes still noticed that my breasts have gotten bigger, and he enjoys that. He loves playing with them, especially because I show them love too. 

Maybe opening with something like, im planning on working on my body, and introduce the program - and see where that goes.

-MariaAM

Hi Maria, thanks for your reply!  Smile Smile  
So I got my self all ready to talk to him the other day. I started by mentioning that I’ve been doing some research into nbe. Then I asked him if he would like to help me, he said how? So I told him “massage”. He replied with a “oh really”, but it wasn’t a excited or interested “oh really”. It had a doubtful and sceptical tone to it..  Dodgy
so that was enough for me to shut down the conversation pretty pronto! Perhaps I shouldn’t have, I should’ve carried on and explained to him how it’s meant to work. But I didn’t and now I’m back to square one with having to approach the subject with him yet again!  Sad
Hi Elize,
I do believe your right and that you should have kept going, even if you didnt sense it was going right.
Unless you have been married for 30+ years I cant imagine any man not wanting to help massage his wifes breasts.. but that's just me.
He might be seeing it as something that may take him away form the football game, so give him an idea of whats involved and what the perks are.. no pun intended.
Bobbi


Hey Elize! I'm glad you tried! I also agree with Bobbi that men may not be interested without more info on what the 'perks' are. I think its ok if he wasnt interested right away, but now that hes aware you can definitely keep going at your program. I tried not to make it too big of a deal to my partner, and just said that im doing it on the side, he only really started to care later on when he noticed the changes too. 

-MariaAm
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