[Louloute]

My husband and I have been married for 11yrs. It's amazing that we've been together for this long. He has a preference for girls with fuller body build and of course with bigger assets, if you know what I mean. I'm entirely the opposite. I'm really pettite. I'm only 4'9" tall, 89lb, slim and flat chested. 11yrs ago when we first were married, while foreplay, he was holding my breasts in his palms and said,"I wish these were bigger." It destroyed me. He said he was sorry many times, but I never got over it. I love him just the way his body is, I don't understand why he can't do the same for me?! Sure he says he loves me, but if he doesn't love the way my body looks and still yearn for other women, then "I love you" means nothing. I don't get it. Why stay with a woman you don't desire?
Just this past year, while I was 4mo postpartum, he had a crush on a model that he was shooting in a couple photography session. We usually are logged in Facebook all the time on the iPad and so I was able to read his messages. Anyways, in one message his friend they were talking about girls and he had said he likes that girl that had modeled for a car shoot. She was his type and he would do her in a heartbeat. I was so devastated. No wonder he kept talking about her to me. He was in love with her. I confronted him about and he said he was sorry and that it was just guy talk and nothing more. I know that is how he truly feels. I am not the woman of his desire and I know I could never be. Then why stay with me?
There's been many times that we've almost separated because he didn't want to be with me. The only thing that kept him coming back to me and staying with me was because he did not want to see me with another man! Now his excuse is, he wants us to be together for the girls and that it's embarrassing to be divorced after being married for so long and with kids. I know his decisions will change one day when he finds a younger and bustier girl. It doesn't mean anything anymore when he says, "I love you." To me they are empty promises. I stay with him, because I love him with all my heart, body and soul, otherwise I wouldn't have any children with him. I only wish he loves me for the way that I am and I wish I am the only woman he desires.

Hi Nkaujoua, glad you're staying positive. and i really dont mean to intrude but your husband sounds like a real piece of work. you wonder why he stays with you? I wonder why you stay with him any comments he makes about your body should be to make you feel good! and your boobs should be perfect to him whether or not he prefers big ones. They are YOUR boobs and he's lucky enough to even glance at them. And to talk about other women in that manner whilst married is unacceptable. if that was my BF i would've smacked him upside his face and kick his ass out the door

anyway, stay positive, be happy and do things for yourself. i hope you grow big beautiful boobs just to show him then leave his sorry ass. again, i hope im not intruding, but i wish you the best of luck!