[gasolinerainbow]

I went travelling around Europe for a month. Beforehand the doc finally put me on the standard BCP. I feel way better on it than I did on the POP pill,the endless bleeding has stopped for one!

But by the end of the trip my boobs seem to have shrunk to nearly 34B again. They also have little marks on them like bruises or stretch marks. I can't understand why this is losing weight is the obvious possibility but let's just say I was not a starving traveller... And I weigh the same amount.

I also bought a hilarious Bollywood Bra from a theatre shop in Berlin. I showed it to my boyfriend and his first comment was 'isn't it too big for you?' you know, because my boobs are so small and inadequate, and I would obviously spend money on a novelty bra that doesn't fit.

I am so sick of feeling deformed in front of him. I know other people like my boobs I quite like my boobs. Why does the one person whose actually supposed to see them and touch them have to make me feel so horrible about them sometimes I feel like this ugly, mini lady that never grew into a proper woman.