20-06-2011, 19:57
@Beachbumbythesea, my boyfriend's tried saying the same thing to me. I've thought about it and if I'm honest, the only reason he's not with those people is because he doesn't know them and I doubt they'd go out with him. If I had a poster of a gorgeous bloke and let's say this guy also happens to be witty and intelligent and everything else I look for in a man then I highly doubt that, given the choice, I would choose to start a relationship with my boyfriend over him. If I met him whilst in a relationship with my boyfriend then I wouldn't leave my man for him but I don't find any particular comfort in this notion. Besides, those posters represent everything I hate about the society we live in today.
Thanks for the advice Isabelle
I did what you said and focused on his behaviour rather than how I personally feel about the posters. I asked him if he would leave me if I took them down (thinking if he said yes, then I'd leave him right then and there!) and he said he'd be very, very angry on the principle that I'd be showing total disrespect for his freedom. I said at the end of the day it comes down to total disrespect for his freedom vs. total disrespect for my feelings and he said he'd take them down if it would prevent us falling out if I took them down myself. That's the best outcome I could have hoped for really (:
I don't mean to do him a disservice by writing about only the negative things. Apart from the posters, and comments on my lack of breast size, and him sticking a stiletto in this girls cleavage to measure it while he ogled at her when he was drunk (I reminded him about this because he had no recollection whatsoever, he then went and asked the girl if it actually happened. He came back and informed ME that it did. I said 'well, if she said it happened, it MUST have happened. Don't worry about what your gf tells you, I can't think of any reason why you should trust her)... Ahem, yes, apart from all that he's very caring, generous and loving. He just does nothing for my self-esteem and is the most stubborn person I've ever met.
I've never had a low self-esteem before... The thing is, he does everything he can to try and make me feel good about myself but then he says and does the most tactless things and won't accept any responsibility for them. He can't see that it's those things that undermine all the positive stuff. Therein lies our problem :/ I didn't even care about the posters that much to begin with but slowly they've become the pinnacle of my discontent.
As far as feminism goes; I won't watch TV because it's littered with the sexualisation of our gender. I've complained to the advertising agency about almost every advert under the sun! I won't buy magazines, won't shop in certain shops; the list goes on... I never used to be like this, haha, it seems that being with my bf has brought to my attention how sexualised and discriminated against the female gender is.
You know, I really do wonder how we ended up together. He is the perfect combination of everything I hate in a man and everything I love. The weird thing is, I realised that long before I fell in love with him.
Thanks for the advice Isabelle
I did what you said and focused on his behaviour rather than how I personally feel about the posters. I asked him if he would leave me if I took them down (thinking if he said yes, then I'd leave him right then and there!) and he said he'd be very, very angry on the principle that I'd be showing total disrespect for his freedom. I said at the end of the day it comes down to total disrespect for his freedom vs. total disrespect for my feelings and he said he'd take them down if it would prevent us falling out if I took them down myself. That's the best outcome I could have hoped for really (:I don't mean to do him a disservice by writing about only the negative things. Apart from the posters, and comments on my lack of breast size, and him sticking a stiletto in this girls cleavage to measure it while he ogled at her when he was drunk (I reminded him about this because he had no recollection whatsoever, he then went and asked the girl if it actually happened. He came back and informed ME that it did. I said 'well, if she said it happened, it MUST have happened. Don't worry about what your gf tells you, I can't think of any reason why you should trust her)... Ahem, yes, apart from all that he's very caring, generous and loving. He just does nothing for my self-esteem and is the most stubborn person I've ever met.
I've never had a low self-esteem before... The thing is, he does everything he can to try and make me feel good about myself but then he says and does the most tactless things and won't accept any responsibility for them. He can't see that it's those things that undermine all the positive stuff. Therein lies our problem :/ I didn't even care about the posters that much to begin with but slowly they've become the pinnacle of my discontent.
As far as feminism goes; I won't watch TV because it's littered with the sexualisation of our gender. I've complained to the advertising agency about almost every advert under the sun! I won't buy magazines, won't shop in certain shops; the list goes on... I never used to be like this, haha, it seems that being with my bf has brought to my attention how sexualised and discriminated against the female gender is.
You know, I really do wonder how we ended up together. He is the perfect combination of everything I hate in a man and everything I love. The weird thing is, I realised that long before I fell in love with him.