23-01-2011, 16:25
I am so depressed. I measured today and I am now at 32 inches around the nips. I haven't changed in measurement elsewhere, just deflated boobs. SO bummed. I've been off the herbs for a week and managed to lose an inch and a half!
I guess on the bright side I've gained an inch and a half from where I started but honestly, you can't tell by looking at them or touching them.
I'm too depressed to even wear a bra! This process is making me realized how attached I am to having breasts. This ISN'T about men, or any man. In fact, I have a long distance relationship (if you could even call it that) and I am starting a business so most of my emotion and excitement is going towards that. I actually forgot my boyfriend existed (we're half-together, he wants to be, I'm unsure).
So if I'm not planning on being seen naked by anyone for a while... then it's obviously not because of the boy situation. To be completely honest, I thought it could be. I wondered. I have done many things (good or stupid) for love and I thought I was just falling mercilessly into another one of my love-dreams.
I know now that I am not.
It was a different feeling when they were bigger. One of womanhood! I wore a low-cut dress to a party and I had curves! I felt like a woman, strong enough to reject any man, but still soft enough to love my girlfriends for who and what they are.
I felt balanced. My butt was played down by my boobs. I'm one of those girls who dresses for women (cute tops, magazine-type fashions men just don't care much about but women check each other out for). I am not going to change that, I never wanted to... but it felt good to be happy about my body for once. To look in the mirror and feel satisfied.
My goal is to be 35-23-35... right now I am 36-23-32 (Christmas turned me into a Toblerone and Turtle eating monster, I let myself go in every way you could imagine!).
I KNOW my goals are possible. All of us can have the bodies we're after. With my exercise the way it's been going, and the herbs-- the way they were going-- it's completely possible. I'm working hard, not just standing around praying for my boobs to change. Those pills are a lot of hard work. The massages, the hot water bottle I use at night. To work practically 10 hours a day, come home, go to the gym, take pills all through the day, massage, heat, etc....
To see results and have them taken away is SO discouraging.
I just wanted the results to stay put while I took a one week break. Just a week!!
I will be starting my dosages today. I'm STILL waiting on the PM from PM UK. They haven't filed my order and I'm sooooooooooooo mad. The guy told me his website was working fine and blamed me for his technical problem!! Ugh, customer service, people! Don't ever blame the customer, rule number 1!!!
Love that my handle on here is happy... I am happy! I'm just not happy with my progress, that's all. Or the money I've spent so far on herbs. Not happy about that, either.
Anyone else have experiences like this?
Oh, and I took a boob pic but I'm waaaaaaaayyyyy too depressed about it to post.
OH! And I found hops! 200mg in the form of a "herbal relaxant" for super-stressed people. I will be taking many a day... I just hope it works properly!
I guess on the bright side I've gained an inch and a half from where I started but honestly, you can't tell by looking at them or touching them.
I'm too depressed to even wear a bra! This process is making me realized how attached I am to having breasts. This ISN'T about men, or any man. In fact, I have a long distance relationship (if you could even call it that) and I am starting a business so most of my emotion and excitement is going towards that. I actually forgot my boyfriend existed (we're half-together, he wants to be, I'm unsure).
So if I'm not planning on being seen naked by anyone for a while... then it's obviously not because of the boy situation. To be completely honest, I thought it could be. I wondered. I have done many things (good or stupid) for love and I thought I was just falling mercilessly into another one of my love-dreams.
I know now that I am not.
It was a different feeling when they were bigger. One of womanhood! I wore a low-cut dress to a party and I had curves! I felt like a woman, strong enough to reject any man, but still soft enough to love my girlfriends for who and what they are.
I felt balanced. My butt was played down by my boobs. I'm one of those girls who dresses for women (cute tops, magazine-type fashions men just don't care much about but women check each other out for). I am not going to change that, I never wanted to... but it felt good to be happy about my body for once. To look in the mirror and feel satisfied.
My goal is to be 35-23-35... right now I am 36-23-32 (Christmas turned me into a Toblerone and Turtle eating monster, I let myself go in every way you could imagine!).
I KNOW my goals are possible. All of us can have the bodies we're after. With my exercise the way it's been going, and the herbs-- the way they were going-- it's completely possible. I'm working hard, not just standing around praying for my boobs to change. Those pills are a lot of hard work. The massages, the hot water bottle I use at night. To work practically 10 hours a day, come home, go to the gym, take pills all through the day, massage, heat, etc....
To see results and have them taken away is SO discouraging.
I just wanted the results to stay put while I took a one week break. Just a week!!
I will be starting my dosages today. I'm STILL waiting on the PM from PM UK. They haven't filed my order and I'm sooooooooooooo mad. The guy told me his website was working fine and blamed me for his technical problem!! Ugh, customer service, people! Don't ever blame the customer, rule number 1!!!
Love that my handle on here is happy... I am happy! I'm just not happy with my progress, that's all. Or the money I've spent so far on herbs. Not happy about that, either.
Anyone else have experiences like this?
Oh, and I took a boob pic but I'm waaaaaaaayyyyy too depressed about it to post.
OH! And I found hops! 200mg in the form of a "herbal relaxant" for super-stressed people. I will be taking many a day... I just hope it works properly!