Posting in the self hatred thread to vent.
I find my self hatred is always activated the most when seeing busty women.
My mind gets filled with thoughts about how I'll never look like that and how disgusting and worthless I look in comparison. I want to be that so desperately, they don't even know how lucky they are. I spend every day of my life consumed by thoughts and choosing every action around growing my breasts and they probably never spared a thought to have perfect breasts.
Sometimes I come to ALMOST accept my body until I see them and it hurts.
I don't really hate these women for hurting me with their existence but it would be a lot easier if I never had to see them.
I wish I was born with their body genetics instead of mine that made me naturally small all over. I don't feel like a woman in this body.