[imbackagain]

I feel like I always come to the same conclusion with NBE. The potential risks side effects just aren't worth it, and I am too all over the map with adding things to tell what anything is doing.

I didn't want to believe the stuff people were saying about numbness from pumping. But I havent pumped in a week or two and was feeling pretty good. I just did it for a little bit and now I'm experiencing tightness in my neck, and numbness in my arms and legs. I don't know if it's psychosomatic but I also feel less emotionally ok. It might be from being overly focused on concerned with my body and image issues. My boyfriend also keeps encouraging me to stop taking the pills because I've been dealing with such extreme emotions and anxiety.

I blame inconsistency for why I don't get results but I just don't think it's going to happen for me like it has for others. I've been totally not focusing on the building blocks of being healthy: working out, healthy sleep schedule, and good whole foods : and just expecting pumping and pills to work magic for me. I need a reality check. Tonight I'm going to pack up my pump and my pills. I'm going to make a healthy meal plan for myself full of good fats and veggies, and focus on getting workouts in again as well. Maybe in the future I will try adding things one at a time, but I'm taking so many things at this rate I don't know what's doing anything if anything at all. I add and subtract things too quickly. I will continue with massaging with zhi mu but thats it. 

Thank you for your message Danica, it came at a very good time.