[blessedbreasts]

Hi peggy, AA, and Ella, thanks so much for checking on me.

I've been really stressed and unhappy lately, to the point where I just couldn't convince myself to engage in life unless it was absolutely necessary. I've been having scary thoughts and I think there's something wrong with me. Just this past weekend, my older brother and his family came to visit, and my 5-year-old nephew was acting really really silly around me, sillier than usual. He finally said "I'm trying to make you laugh like you used to!" It broke my heart that he noticed how much I've changed.

I've scheduled an appointment with a doctor, because I'm due for a checkup, anyway, and I'm going to tell her how I've been feeling. Maybe she can recommend a therapist for me or something.

Anyway, enough about how screwed up I am. I finally got the wherewithal to start massaging and pumping again today. I think I've lost some progress, unfortunately, so I need to really get back at it here.

Thanks again for checking on me, you three. It means a lot! :-)