[Dark_Swan]

Hello beautiful people of the forum! I just wanted to start this thread because NBE is a huge secret in my life, well... I don't really consider it a secret though. I consider it a private matter that I don't feel the need to disclose to anyone, not even my girlfriend of five years. So no one knows about my journey with NBE in my life, not friends or family, and I don't think it's something that I will ever voluntarily disclose. Like perhaps if one of my friends asked what I've been doing, and if they were genuinely curious or maybe considering implants, then of course I would let them in on it in an effort to prevent them from going that route. Or if my girlfriend asked me straight up, then I definitely wouldn't lie to her or even beat around the bush about it. But otherwise, I don't want to subject myself to behind the back criticisms and misjudgments from my friends and family (not saying that's how they would act, but I'm sure they would talk and come to their own assumptions, you know?). 

I think when most people hear that you're on an NBE journey, they automatically assume that you're doing it for someone else, or that you're unhappy with yourself and your body or you're desperate or something. Even people who are supportive to your face will judge you behind your back and think, "why can't you just accept yourself as you are?" and other similar thoughs. I'm neither of those things by the way. I'm happy, I'm beyond content, I'm self-assured and confident, and I love myself/body just as I am. But I want bigger boobs too and what's wrong with that?  

Now the reason why I decided to keep this from my partner is a different matter altogether. I know for a fact that she would be supportive. We have that type of relationship where we are very trusting and we allow each other personal space. She's not my keeper, I don't have to check in with her or ask her permission to do something I want. We do talk, openly and bluntly, and take into consideration each other's feelings before making big decisions. But something like this, she honestly wouldn't care if I told her or kept it from her. I know this because I briefly considered breast implants when we first started dating (this was when I used to be massively insecure) and she told me "Hey, that's your body and if you want to change it then that's your decision and not mine. You don't have to run that by me. I'm not your warden." And then she went on a long rant about loving my body just as it is, and how she wanted to support me in my decisions, and be there for me and blah blah blah, (gosh I love her, lol). But that is another reason I don't want to tell her because I don't want her to think that I must still be unhappy with my body or that I'm doing this for her. I'm so not, lol. I know she would give me another long lengthy lecture about how she loves my body just as it is, and she doesn't want me to feel the need to change it, and sigh, I already know those things, I don't need to hear it from her again and again. She would also probably be worried that my breasts are an insecurity for me, when it's not. It used to be, but I'm not shy about my small boobs any longer. Heck, I wear seethrough tops in public, so that should let you know free I am!! She would also be curious about the things I'm taking and doing, and curious about updates, and then I would ultimately feel like she's hovering over my shoulder during this journey and also probably feel unnecessary pressure from her even though at her heart she's just trying to be supportive, but really I just need and want my own space to do my own thing when it comes to NBE. Do you guys get what I'm saying and do you relate? I hope so!!

So I'm curious... who do you keep your NBE a secret from and why (friends, family, partner(s) lol)? Is it hard for you to keep it a secret? Do you feel like you have to but don't want to (because maybe they wouldn't understand or be supportive)? Is it a burden you carry, or do you feel incredibly liberated as I do by having a portion of your life closed off from others? Do you wish there were someone in your life that you can talk NBE related stuff about or maybe wish that you had more of support group? I know I do sometimes, but I spend so much time doing NBE related research and reading threads and just being on this forum that it's more of a huge relief to not have it interfered or brought up in conversations in my real life. 

What's your take on keeping NBE a secret from the people in your life? Do you think it's deceptive or do you think it's entirely personal and something that doesn't need to be shared? I'm interested in hearing everyone's thoughts on this matter but I ultimately think that it's your body and you should be able to do with it as you desire, whether that means NBE, chopping off all your hair, getting tattoos or transitioning or whatever. And if you don't want to open yourself up to criticism or judgments or even just unsolicited inputs from friends/family/partners/etc, then I totally get it. You shouldn't feel pressured to share something so private and personal about yourself if you don't want to, but then again if you're transitioning I'm sure that's something they're bound to pick up on, lol. 

Let me know your thoughts and let's start conversations on this topic! I think it would be interesting to talk about! 

Xoxo <3

Hey

I think it depends on a number of factors like your own personality(are you comfortable with revealing such personal info, cos you also reveal about your insecurities indirectly...), the kind of people you have in life and if they are trustworthy...So I would say you figure out your own answer.

For me, well my ex knew about this insecurity of mine and he was always so sweet. The thing is that, I actually comfortable enough to talk to him about this and most things. I even mentioned that I had tried a few ways to increase my boobs' size, so yeah I kinda did mention it. Another person who know is one of my closest friends. I have known her for 7 years at least and she virtually know everything about me lol. Also, I used her address to order the noogleberry. She isn't bugging me for progress etc or annoying question, she just said that I should be careful because breasts are sensitive and to not hurt myself. Just trying to look out for a friend xx    , which I am appreciative of.  

I decided not to tell my family, even though I live with them haha. Not because I don't trust them, it's just that I don't have a close relo when it comes to such things. They are supportive and open-minded but it would be awkward. So I basically lock the door and tell my Mum I am massaging my skin and doing masks etc. lol. I think they might have some idea that I am up to something lol and if they really really bug me and start interrogating then I will tell them, no biggie. They are trustworthy and sweet people. 

I wouldn't tell anyone else, unless I absolutely was damn sure and trusted them cos let's face it, there's some shitty and childish people out there who love to hurt others or make them feel awful about themselves. I might be self-conscious about my boobs but not letting anyone make me feel bad or disrespect me over a minor thing like two lumps on my chest. 

Yeah, that's it from me, sorry about the novel. Have a lovely day.

Cheers,
Dark_Swan