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I'm done pretending: I hate my breasts

#1

I've been a lurker on this forum for over three years. I'm 23 now. Since I was young, I was bullied and teased over my small breasts. They've been called "mosquito bites", "ant hills", and my friends used to call me "A.C.", short for "A cup". Men have told me to my face that they don't like my breasts. And when women talk about liking other women, they always make the joke that "Who doesn't like boobs?", which always leaves me feeling terrible because I have none. My roommate expressed surprise when I first told her I was interested in a job as an erotic dancer. She asked how could I make any money when I have such small breasts.

The other day I was at a party with my partner when he said that a woman had nice tits. They were "round", "big", and "perky", he said. I've tried to push these comments out of my head...He isn't a bad guy--we both openly comment on other people. I just wasn't braced for the comment on another woman's breasts. I've always had NBE in the back of my mind but it had gone away recently. Since he made that comment on Friday, it's come back. I'm obsessed. I know that my breasts are not worth any compliments...

I long for a proportionate body. My measurements are 31" (on a good day), 26, 36. My stomach is always bloated. I have to suck it in constantly or it will stick out passed my breasts and make my figure look even more undesirable. I just can't stand having small breasts anymore. I don't want implants--I want to be a natural, feminine woman with real, beautiful breasts. I feel like a failure...Every day, I look in the mirror and hate what I see. The feeling had gone away temporarily, but it's back. I really wish my partner had never made that comment, but I don't blame him for it.

The one person I was with that made me feel better about myself was this man who always talked about how much he loved small breasts. He said he loved when they were just a handful, or less. We went to a strip club together and he spent the night talking about the small breasts on some of the women. I know my current partner doesn't feel that way, and it makes me feel terrible about myself...

So, I've finally decided to join Breast Nexus to just admit to myself that this is what I want. I'll keep a brave face on around my younger sisters with small breasts (which are still bigger than mine) because I don't want them to hate themselves too, and I don't want to set a bad example. But secretly, I long for bigger breasts, and a proportionate body. Even being a full A or small B would make me happy. Just something to balance out my huge bottom. Men have also talked about how disproportionate my butt is to the rest of my body. I'm 5'1". I don't know why some people are so mean.

So, I'm done pretending. I hate my breasts! I hate them. I've always hated them. I've never loved them. Any time I ever said I loved my body just how it was, I was lying. Any time I ever said I had finally overcome society's standards of beauty, I was lying. Two other men I had slept with both prodded me into getting breast implants. "Didn't you say you were going to get breast implants?" they both tried to reverse psychology me...Ha. Well, everyone who wanted to change me wins.

I see people on here and on other websites who throw caution out the window in the pursuit of bigger and/or more shapely breasts. I read about people who have had ovaries nearly rupture, or who have developed hard lumps in their breasts, etc…I was cautious about all of this before which is why I never fully jumped into NBE, but I’m over it now. My self-hatred has finally won and I don’t care about risking my health if it means I can have the beautiful body I want. I’ll deal with all of the adverse side effects when I get there.

I can’t speak anyone else’s truth for them, but I will finally admit for myself: I want to change my breasts. Why? Because I don’t love them just the way they are.


(Please PM me privately to respond to this post. Thanks.)
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#2

Goodluck, you are still young so jumping on the train now can be a good decision for you, hopefully it will change you're life like you are aiming for and you can look with different eyes to yourself. In the meanwhile dont be to hard on yourself, this journey can take a lot of time and its not something you will do in "just" 6 months. Im curious to your program already as you sound pretty motivated.Smile
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#3

Hi Imbalance,
Your on the right track finally!
First you need to love the breasts you have, because these are what you will nurture to become the breasts of your desire.
And to begin this new admiration, I would suggest massage. Its easy, free, and the best way I know to feel your growth and form them correctly.
I have two of my favorite threads that will pretty much tell you everything there is know about the fine art of breast massage:

http://www.breastnexus.com/showthread.php?tid=25391

http://www.breastnexus.com/showthread.php?tid=26280

So take some measurements, and pictures so you have a reference. Then begin.
Also a big one here is to talk to the partner, and get him on board. Its ok to tell him your sensitive about the size of your breasts and want to begin NBE. Even invite him to help with the massage. He'll enjoy that and make sure you tell him if he is doing well or needs to change the rhythm. Be positive so you both will be working to the same goal.

I'll let the other girls here guide you on the best herbs to use.
Hugs
Bobbi
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#4

WTF.! I'm sorry, but who the hell are these people to be commenting on YOUR body like that?!?! They're not perfect either, nobody is. Totally Not their place to be saying anything about your breasts. 

I can relate to feeling dejected when your bf says another girl's breasts (significantly larger than mine) look good. But mine are still fun to play with, and if my bf isn't going to tease and pinch my nipples how I like, then I'll just do it myself! Gotta show him how Wink

Anyways, good luck on your journey. Hope you find success and love for your boobies!
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#5

I used to have an ed And I remember being in high school and people would say things like "oh you would be attractive if you only had boobs" and my friend once called my breasts "tea cups", I still haven't forgotten. 

Point is. You aren't a lone. People can be callous. But it's most likely a reflection of their own insecurities and they see your body as an easy target. 

I also had small boobs. For years I told myself big boob would make me happy. So I commuted myself to NBE. I grew from a B cup and I'm currently a DD cup, and I'll tell you now.. I am still unhappy, insecure and dysphoric. 

I think no matter what, if you have emotional wounds inside you.. you can alter your external appearance forever. But you will never be satisfied. That's how I feel about it anyway.
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#6

(04-03-2017, 03:14 PM)psychodelic Wrote:  I used to have an ed And I remember being in high school and people would say things like "oh you would be attractive if you only had boobs" and my friend once called my breasts "tea cups", I still haven't forgotten. 

Point is. You aren't a lone. People can be callous. But it's most likely a reflection of their own insecurities and they see your body as an easy target. 

I also had small boobs. For years I told myself big boob would make me happy. So I commuted myself to NBE. I grew from a B cup and I'm currently a DD cup, and I'll tell you now.. I am still unhappy, insecure and dysphoric. 

I think no matter what, if you have emotional wounds inside you.. you can alter your external appearance forever. But you will never be satisfied. That's how I feel about it anyway.

We all do, I guess. 

There is a saying in spanish " Find out your fears so no one can use them against you" - I think that is something we should learn.


I have had insecurities with my body since I was a kid - people used to pick on me cause I am petite and thin . They used to call me "weak" for my physical appearance.
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#7

saw "pm privately" note XD

Bobby, I love that advice. Making it couple's journey and getting him in on massage sounds so connecting and I bet he'd learn to appreciate them better too. Also your explanation of how massage helps you love what you have more is kinda motivating to take massage more seriously. ^ ^ Thanks!
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#8

Thanks Lunasee,
I do what I can. It usually the easiest solutions to problems that people never see.

I do wonder what happened to her tho. She just vanished.
Bobbi
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#9

I know this feeling. I’ve felt it myself. My boyfriend is a major boob man. He has literally slept with busty women all his life and by busty I mean super busty, watermelons in slang and im an “A” cup. Once, during an argument he said you can never have boobs like that. I also used to talk to this guy who told me he loves boobs which can fit in a champagne glass and big nipples. 
I Get sooo jealous of those girls on Instagram with perfect boobs but honey they are all fake. 60% women are getting surgeries done. One of my friends is busty but there are still those guys who choose other girls over her but since we have a major boob insecurity we tend to revolve around that.
I believe, boobs are the easiest part to grow if you have the right information because it’s just fat deposition unlike other muscular/bony  body parts. For example, the fastest deposition of fat goes onto your belly, not arms, not legs, not toes. Even chubby guys experience fat deposition on their chest.  So it’s impossible for them to not grow. Don’t lose hope. Everything in extreme is dangerous  
Research how you want to go about it. Pumps/pills etc and keep that in moderation. Boobs will grow, there is zero chance they won’t if you’re regular and sincere. It’ll take time of course but it’s better to spend that time by doing something about it rather than sulking about it. It’s your choice what you wish to do with that time. 
Good luck for your journey love.
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#10

(30-08-2018, 12:14 PM)CoconutCrush Wrote:  Once, during an argument ...

You can do better than him.
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