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A quick behavior poll!

#11

Question one: Female

Question two: I was raised as me. My parents never encouraged anything other than being my own person. However, I guess my mom did dress me frilly when I was a baby sooo.... female. Haha.

Question three: SO lives an hour away, so I go back and forth until we get married and finish school.

Question four: Yes to both. I am a bad driver and am prone to getting lost.

Question five: I had a curfew and my mom had me text her when I got somewhere.
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#12

(15-09-2013, 11:21 PM)echapman Wrote:  Question one: Female

Question two: I was raised as me. My parents never encouraged anything other than being my own person. However, I guess my mom did dress me frilly when I was a baby sooo.... female. Haha.

Question three: SO lives an hour away, so I go back and forth until we get married and finish school.

Question four: Yes to both. I am a bad driver and am prone to getting lost.

Question five: I had a curfew and my mom had me text her when I got somewhere.

Woohoo! Here's one exception that lives up to her expectations LOL. In more ways than one!
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#13

I was raised a long time ago, but here goes:

1. Male, but I sometimes wonder what might have been had circumstances been different.
2. Male, but my mother always desperately wanted a daughter. She was a very 'black and white' person with polarised attitudes, and I doubt she would have been able to handle my becoming the daughter she wanted had that shown any sign of happening. My father was killed when I was two years old and I have no surviving direct memories of him. As it was I and my younger brother got sent off to a boy's boarding school at age 7 to provide a more male oriented environment.
3. I have lived with my SO for nearly 35 years.
4. While we both agree that we sometimes need our own space, my need is greater than hers. We both like to know where the other is, and do our best to respect this need. This would apply to the circumstances you mention. I reckon though that we spend (and mostly enjoy) more time together than most couples, although we don't always work too well together on projects which one of us feels that the other is hijacking.
5. Looking back, I am astonished how much freedom my mother gave us, and indeed the quite adventurous activities which were positively encouraged. The price was keeping her very fully briefed or involved as an actual participant, as well a quite intrusive desire to obtain full details of my activities. For example, any correspondence arriving at home from an unidentified source somehow always got 'accidentally' opened, and there was to my mind far too much feedback to school principals and relatives. For example, she came with me on a rigorous and very wet bicycle tour of Wales, and later on a trip by WWII jeep to Turkey, let me sign up for a working trip on a cargo liner down the coast of West Africa to the Congo and Angola, and was supportive of an overland trip with friends to Iran, Afghanistan and the Northwest Frontier area of Pakistan. My brother took his first opportunity to escape by emigrating first to Australia and then to the USA. She became increasingly possessive of me as time went by, culminating in my guiltily taking a job in Canada and demanding that she went home when she promptly followed me across the Atlantic to try to participate in my new life. To start off, I made pretty frequent visits to her in England, but these became less frequent after I married (not to any of the girls that my mother considered suitable), setting up a classic mother-in-law situation. I felt terrible that we'd both deserted her, but we had to be our own people and we did maintain frequent contact (made more difficult by hostility towards our wives), particularly as she got older.
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#14

AP... that is just so... omg what?! lol!

Seriously though... wow... talk about possessive mom's!
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#15

(15-09-2013, 01:49 AM)AbiDrew85 Wrote:  So basically, the poll option here really isn't versatile enough for what I'm asking here, so please reply!

Question one: Do you identify male or female?

Question two: Were you raised male or female?

Question three: Do you still live with your parents or with an SO?

Question four: Regardless of any of the above, do you check in with your parents or an SO frequently to let them know where you are, that you got there safely, got back safely, are leaving some place to go back home, etc? Especially as related to large social gatherings and going from one town or city to another?

Question five: Did your parents TEACH you that behavior by checking in on you all the time while younger?

Thanks! I'll post my own answers in the first reply!

*Female
*Female
*Alone/but bf stays with me often
*I live alone so I don't need to check in with anyone. When I lived with my parents I had a curfew right up to the point when I moved out! Which is a big reason why I DID move out! I was 19.
* Because my parents were so strict I think I have become super-independent and don't like people telling me what to do/when to come home, etc. So the way they raised me had the opposite effect of what they wanted.
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#16

Hi Smile I'm not sure if you want to hear from me because I'm 17yo and living with my parents, but just in case you don't care...

Question one: female

Question two: female

Question three: With ma and pa Smile

Question four: It depends. If someone is home, I will usually just tell them that I'm going out with friends and will text them when I expect to be returning home (I usually don't text them though because I forget lol). If I'm going into the city or a place Im unfamiliar with, I try to remember to call my mom to let her know that I arrived safe and sound, but usually forget. If I forget, she will either a) call and check-up on me, or b) also forget haha (my mom, dad and I are forgetful; my little sister on the other hand remembers everything and is the one to check-up on everyone, including me, to make sure we are safe...i lover her, she's the best!!!). I usually, call my parents more if they are late coming home from work or errands than if I go somewhere/am late arriving home.

Question five: Sort of. My mom used to ALWAYS check up on me, but once me and my friends got our drivers license, it was like "eh, she's old enough that I don't have to worry too much". Even then, though, I would forget to call her back...I used to get in trouble for not calling her, but now I don't Smile

Haha its so funny how parents freak out way more about their daughters than their sons. My friend is 26 yo and her mom still calls her if she is out past 10:00pm to make sure she is ok (she lives at home). On the other hand, her brother, who just turned 20 yo, can be partying out till 3:00am, and their mom wont call him (though their mom has texted me and our other friends before to ask if we could call him and make sure he is ok hahaha).

I get it but I don't get it lmao

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#17

1) Female
2) Female
3) University Residence / Parents house during the summer
4) I don't check in very often unless I am feeling guilty about not having done it recently. My mom likes to check in often. I didn't ever used to tell her much about what was going on in my life up until I was 17, then I ran away/ fled the country with my first love. After that she wanted to know everything/fix our relationship and such. We have a pretty good relationship now but sometimes she needs to check in less - I am her go-to when she is bored lol.
5) My mom checked in a regular amount growing up. I was a bit of an impulsive liar back then though, and she didn't ever really dig (talking age 13-17). As a really young child, she checked in a normal amount I'd say.

I used to have a problem with my mom checking in because it would cause me stress - I would be under the influence of this or that and talking on the phone would freak me out. That was a recent problem that I am now out of, and so just thinking about it now, I don't mind her checking in so much anymore (since I can answer the phone without lying about what I was doing earlier!)
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#18

One thing I should probably add about my relationship with my mother. As time went by, I found it increasingly difficult to talk to her as more and more subjects seemed to be added to the taboo list, until I was largely confined to commonplaces and she to nostalgia of the 'do you remember' type. After her death I inherited a large box of letters largely consisting of most of my father's wartime letters to her, and a series of posthumous letters that she wrote to him while trying to get over his death, the last 16 years later. These also were much in the 'do you remember' vein. I now think that I was to some extent being made a proxy for my father,, and if I expressed views or opinions or behaved in ways which were not in line with what she felt my father's views or actions would have been, that was unacceptable. I remember the shock I felt when at age 12 I was summoned to the principal's office at school and was told that my mother was concerned with my behaviour, and that I was a disgrace to the memory of my dead father. The shock was not least because I had then no idea as to what behaviour he was referring, but I suppose now that I had not been behaving and indeed probably could not behave in line with what she would have expected from my father. In passing, I hope you were not too shocked by your sister's comment you reported in your program thread. Whatever she thought, she surely should not have made the comment - these things can stay with one and fester for a long, long time.
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#19

1. i would identify myself as a male when i was little ..mainly because i only have male siblings , so i would dress like them, act like them , play against them.
2. Im a female
3. I live with my parents.
4.yeah they're okay.
5. what was question 5 again lol
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