[Cheryl1989]

Hi everyone, this is not really NBE related so i am sorry but i need a little advice. As some of you will know i am male and i have always been a straight man, recently i have started to have a little interest in men, i dont know why. I still like woman just as much as i did before NBE but my attraction towards men has become strong. I have a very good male friend who i have been best friends with since a very young age, since my NBE we have become a little distant from each other but we are still good friends, last night we had a few drinks round his house and a laugh. He excepts me for who i am now but he still treats me as one of the guys and i dont mind this as long as we are still friends, since my NBE he has always asked to look at my boobs lol typical man. Only because i think he is fascinated by whats happened to me and i have always said no as its too embarresing for me and it would be too strange, and for ages its been like a joke between us, untill last night. We where talking and having a joke and i was a little merry and he said like he always does if he could look, he said its been months and you always say no and he wanted to see what had happened to me, i laughed and said you can see anyway without me taking my top off lol but he seemed really serious and a little hurt and he had never reacted this way before, he then said he felt we had drifted apart as friends and he misses how we use to be, he then said i dont trust him anymore. I felt terrible and he seemed quite upset, i said if he wants i will let him see what had happened to me but i would feel very uncomfortable with this but he said it would help him alot, so i took my top off and my bra, for a slight moment i felt embarresed but then i felt excited and a little turned on by this, he staired and smiled at me and he then asked some questions and i felt attracted to him, it was such an unusual feeling. He was like a gentleman and thanked me and said you can get dressed now and started laughing, but i really did not want too i wanted him to grab me lol. After i put my top back on he asked loads more questions and he seemed to understand me so much better and i dont understand why but now i think i have feelings towards him and i dont know how to deal with this situation. I am sorry to ask this on here but i have always got great advice from the lovely people on this forum and i dont want to mention this to any of my friends or family. Its all i can think about at the moment and i will be seeing him again tomorrow and i worry that my attraction towards him will show, so any advice is appreciated. Thanks everyone xxxx.

[itsjust4fun91]

Wow, that's a very very tricky situation cheryl. I think childhood friendships are precious and if I were you, I definately wouldn't want to cause it to be any more weird feeling than it's had to go through already. I think you've got alot of changes going on in your body that are very very confusing for anyone when they first experience them and wow, it says a lot about your friend that he is still there along for the ride too. You are only just beginning to think you are finding guys interesting, and under the circumstances it's only the tip of the iceberg. You actually might not find them near as attractive once you've tried to take it to that next step forward. Friends that you cherish should be off limits when it comes to testing the waters. So, you really need to do a major brain wash on yourself with a big dose of self control and focus on how good a firend he is. Find somewhere to redirect your new interest of crushing on a guy and what's attractive and not in them.

Of course this is just my opinion and you knowthe situation better than anyone, so in the long run, it will be up to you what direction to go, but do put some long hard thought into it before deciding.

Hugs, Mel

[breast man]

Hi Cheryl,
Ok I dont know if this will help but I will tell you what i think. I think some if not all of the attraction you maybe feeling could have something to do that your were and are best friends thru all of these changes. Thats only a guess but I know I had feelings for a guy I went to school with when I was younger. I always was thinking if I was going to do anything with a guy it would have been him because we knew each other so well. I did find a guy when I was alittle older. But thats another story if you want to know it feel free to ask. I can only guess as to hard it has been with friends. I would guess some have backed off others have been fine with it. I would also have felt a little uncomfortable doing what you did. To me this would be something to only share with someone that is special to me just like I would share any part of my body with. Since you said you are straight how have the women you dated feeling about the change? I was wondering have you shared them (your breasts) with anyone before male or female other then you doctor? If you are still living as a female I could see why he would be attracted to you. From what I have seen on here you are a baeutifully woman. Sorry got off track there. Maybe he wants to be with a guy but not a total guy. Maybe he likes breasts alot and would be getting the best of both worlds. I would have to say even beening a gay male I sometime see a female and think shes hot LOL. Maybe it has something to do with your hormone levels changing to that of a female. If you want to see if it is just something with him maybe try going on a date with another guy and see how it makes you feel. I would not try doing this if you dont feel like it but if you do make sure it is a straight guy and not gay man. I dont think it would be the same because im a gay male. So I think I would know. I would also ask him if you can why did he want to see them so bad and how he felt about them now. You said he treats you like one of the guys Im not sure how that works for you. If you are living as a woman he should treat you as one. Let him know about how it made you feel. I would not tell how it turned you on(it may freak him out) think thats better for you to know that and not him unless you want to. If there is anything else please feel free to ask anything
Good luck
J.F.

[T-belle]

I can definitely see where that would be a confusing situation! My advice would be to just try and stay friends--you've been through a lot, but so have your friends, and they're having to figure out what's changed and what hasn't. If you confessed an attraction for this man, he very likely wouldn't know how to react. He is probably still figuring things out. If he starts testing the waters a bit to see if you'd be attracted to him, then take a chance. But I don't think I would quite yet.

[Cheryl1989]

Hi everyone, thanks for your replys. This is a whole new experience for me and one i dont really want to be having. My friendship with this man does mean alot to me and he was one person i dreaded telling about what i was doing, and things have been strained between us since.I dont think we can ever be how we where as he does not take what i have done serious, i think he tries to deny that i have done this and he treats me almost the same as before i started NBE but its forced and comes across fake. I think i make him uncomfortable as when we speak on the phone he is alot better and it does not seem fake but when i am with him which is not alot now, he just seems different and uncomfortable which i can understand. A while ago we had a game of tennis like we always use too but it was not the same, he seemed to hold back as if i was not as good as i use to be and this was really anoying for me. But now i have these other feelings which i have never felt before and i think apart of me just wants to be close with him again as a friend but i do have an attraction to him and dont know how to switch it off. I cannot even look him in the eye at the moment so im not sure what to do here, i feel confused and im not sure what i am doing here its all new to me, i am struggling with my emotions lately and im having thoughts i never had before, my doctor has said its the hormones and i will get use to it and adjust but i am struggling. Anyway sorry to go on, thank you all so much for your advice. xxxx

[itsjust4fun91]

while this is a very serious topic, I did on the lighter side of things want to address your doctor telling you you will get use to the hormones. LOL, I'm 37 years old and I still haven't gotten use to the hormones. Hormones on their best day are a ride out of an amusement park it just depends on the day of the month as to which ride they are.

I know that most men or women that go through any type of gender change must see a counselor. I know you are not going through the complete process, but the hormone changes in your body are just as extreme, so I would suggest finding a counselor specializing in gender changing type situations. I think it might really help you begin to seperate all the hormone swings and new emotions cropping up, better than any of us could.

hugs, Mel

[Cheryl1989]

Hi Mel, i know what you mean about hormones being abit of a amusement ride and i have to admit my mood changes just about everyday and little things during a day can completely change my mood, it is taking some getting use too lol, and i have been seeing a counciler once a month for the last 5 months now, and he gives me alot of advice and asks alot of questions but you cannot really prepare or explain how different hormones make you feel, well i cant lol, but i am due to see him next week so i will talk to him about what i am feeling now. The body changes i have gone through, you get use too with time, but the mental and hormonal side of things i dont think i will ever get use too lol but in away i think i am a better person for these changes and i am so much calmer and happier so thats good lol, Thanks again Mel. xxxx

[breast man]

Im glad you are going to a counlicer I think that is a great idea. you have gone thru so many changes and I also agree with mel on this one. I can only hope this person can shed some light on what you are going thru. Just remember with any doctor you can always get a second opinon just in case.