[PoisonIvy]

Your breasts look awesome! They have such a nice shape. Yes, one of them points a bit more outward and is smaller, but your nipple/areola doesn't even look underdeveloped to me, it just looks like a very small breast. Too bad you didn't take one four weeks ago so I could see the changes, but I am glad you posted one now! <3

I went swimming with a friend yday. It's hard to find a swimsuit that looks decent on me. I can't wear a one piece bathing suit because my breasts look hideous under it. I can't wear a bikini because I just don't have the body for it (yet). So I wore a tankini. I always look down on myself and check my breasts to see if they look weird. We didn't stay long, though, half an hour maybe, so that was ok. But I caught my friend looking at a busty chick, didn't necessarily make me feel better about myself.

I was up to 130.8 yday, didn't weigh myself today.

I don't even know how I stay on track diet-wise on some days, I certainly don't all the time (I wouldn't be borderline overweight if I did lol). I've been hanging out with my friend a lot lately ever since his cat had disappeared (he's back, but he was injured). There was a time in my life where I avoided hanging out with people because I found it so much easier to stay on track when I wasn't around people, but I am finding it harder not to overeat when I'm alone these days. Some days I think a lot about food, like looking forward to meals and it even feels like my whole day revolves around food or like I am waiting for the time when I can finally eat (I'm such a monster).

Sorry to hear things are still so bad in the US. How come they are not getting things under control over there? I rarely watch the news, most of the time I read something online here and there, but I don't really know what's going on. I just heard that they made it "optional" to wear face masks somewhere because people had refused to wear them and had gotten aggressive towards staff. And that people had gone to the beach and some lawyer was dressed up as the grim reaper to scare them away lol.

It seems like some countries got this under control in no time and others didn't. I don't know why, though.

The numbers have been on the rise over here since the restrictions were loosened, but it's still under control. There were 7 newly infected people in my region the other day and only if we hit 50, they will take measures again. There was only one area in the whole country where this was the case. With restaurants and swimming pools being open again (even if they only allow a certain number of people in at the same time), people are at higher risk to get infected, so we will see how this goes.

Are you worried about getting sick or about losing your job? I am sorry to hear you are dealing with so much anxiety because of this stupid virus.

I am going to lose those 18 lbs with you!! I was 112 lbs last year when I fit in another tankini which I initially had planned on wearing yday. My friend wanted to go swimming last week already and I had taken that one with me, THANK GOD we didn't go, I tried it on yday and it was really tight. As in, so tight, there wasn't even room for my right breast, it was being pushed out in the middle and on the side ugh. I have no idea if my breast got that big or if it's back fat, or both.

So for me it's been a year since I last saw that number on the scale, it's about time we get to that weight again :-)

My mom brought me so much food last week (she meant well), I am not going to start to actively try to lose weight until it's gone, I HATE throwing out food or letting it go to waste. I think it will be gone by the middle of next week, so I should be good to go Wednesday/Thursday. Thursday is the 13th, I like that number, so that is gonna be it for me I think.

That sounds like a plan! I am finding it much easier to get stay on track after a workout because like you said, it would feel like such a waste of a workout if I just went and overate later. I think it will make you feel better and 2 hours of pumping is still a lot.

Congrats on the areola growth, I am sorry to hear the rest is so confusing. I wish you could celebrate your growth, but I know what it's like when you don't want to get too excited over something that might not be long-lasting or not even real. Maybe you really need to stop measuring until you are at your goal weight, or just rely on pictures. But even then, you wouldn't know whether it was just swelling or real growth. Maybe take pics every month and try not to examine your breasts the rest of the time? Easier said than done, I know. 
Areola size wouldn't make a difference, no. Unless it had become puffy, which isn't the case. Your nipple is probably responding to all that stimulation :-)

I don't pump before going swimming, I am too worried about the dome leaving a very visible mark on my chest lol. And I got home around 11pm and went to bed. It's ok to skip a day here and there. I will start a new routine this Thursday, as well, as my Kinesio tape arrived this week, I also ordered some flaxseed oil after reading about someone on here who achieved visible growth with it after just one massage (only one breast, though).

Thank you! I really hope they wind up the same shape when they are symmetrical. Yeah, I wish I took a photo at the beginning too. Even though it's minimal changes, the small amount of areola growth and hopefully breast growth does make it look a bit more like a very small breast vs underdeveloped, but it did look more underdeveloped to me beforehand. I just want them to be symmetrical already so badly. I took more photos so I had side photos as well but freaked out when I realized it uploaded to the cloud and I didn't want that so I deleted it from the cloud, but it deleted it from my computer too, so all I have now is the photo I uploaded on here.

I don't think I've even wore a swimsuit since I was like a pre-teen. It's sad really. I'm the same way lately. I feel like my day revolves around wanting to eat and thinking about food constantly. It's still crazy to me that we're like the same weight with the same goal weight. Sorry that you were feeling self conscious yesterday. I was just at home but was having those days where I was beating myself up for getting so off track and struggling to get back on track. 

We're not even really trying to get it under control in my country. The states did their own thing for the most part. Some states have gotten it under control, including mine, but the problem is because we can all travel into other states that it doesn't really matter if one state got it under control if another state hasn't really done anything about it because it will just wind up back in the states that did take it seriously. It's not even just the virus though. There's quite a lot happening here at the moment, and there's a lot of anxiety going into November 3rd/our election, and the current president won't even say whether he'll accept the results of it, so that fear of the unknown leading up to Nov 3rd is big and a lot of people around me are feeling it. The virus throws an extra unknown into the mix though because they want kids back in school even w/ us ranging between 50,000-70,000 new cases a day so between that and flu season at the same time it's predicted to get bad in the fall and we'll be trying to hold one of the most important elections in the midst of it. I don't want to get too into it though and have this turn into a political post though. 

Yeah, that's exactly what I'm going to do is take photos every month and measurements and try not to look at them much throughout the day. We can do it! We'll both get to our goal weight and get our breasts symmetrical at the same time