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So embarrassed!

#1

So my hubby had a whole week of nightshifts and I was so alone and bored that I came at the idea to try nbe frequencies/binaural beats/theta waves aka hypnosis. So i found a real good one, that really seemed to work. So second night I fell asleep while this video was beeing looped(replayed the whole night) my tablet was laying on hubby’s  bedside and it showed pictures a little bit porn like of women in bikini's with huge natural breasts. And there was also written underneath the video...subliminal for extremely large round and soft breasts.


So while I was asleep with this on my screen and my earphones in, it became morning and he suddenly was standing with the tablet in his hands in his work clothing...and i woke up shocked,  i thought he asked me whats this?... him catching me watching this in his eyes weird stuff I guess..... and i grabbed the tablet out of his hands...almostly threw it away....I woke up extremely confused as what does he think from me now?! And I am sooooo embarrassed. And the worst thing about it....... he does NOT talk about it with me.
 So he probably thought wtf, does she wants extremely large gigantomastica tits.....which isnt my goal(very unrealistic for a b-cup girl too)
 
Oh and afterwards he steppedin bed with me...and he did wanted to feel and cuttle me...okay he does that often. But eh...i was super wet from sweat...bc i was sooooo embarrassed....this was my little secret....and maybe this subconcious hypnosis thing is now going to fail bc i have feelings of shamenow.


Lol...well just had to talk about this with someone. Blush  Cool
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#2

I understand the embarrassment what a chock to wake up like that! I’m sure he was just as confused as you for a while because his first thought must have been “oh, she was watching porn!” After realizing it was audio I bet his mind was spinning like “she was... listening to porn?” So if the title of the video wasn’t obvious hypnosis, he could be thinking you were listening to some kind of erotica is my thought. few people have heard of NBE, even less NBE hypnosis so my guess is that he’s trying to understand what it even was.

I’m hiding NBE for my boyfriend as well so I can relate to the panic (I have ran to the bathroom with my noogling cups on when he came home unexpectedly) but as a wise person once said on this forum, I believe all men can relate to wanting a part of your body to be bigger. it has even been suggested that some men might find NBE something of a turn on, which is hard to see from our perspective as there’s a kind of “shame” in not feeling big enough. I think the shameful feeling you have is more that your were caught so off guard. I hope you’ll have a good talk and be able to laugh about it soon!

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#3

He is very careful with his opinion about breasts towards me..all i know is he doesnt like extremely big and extremely small. And no fake breasts either. So I actually have no clue what he does like. And I am to shy to discuss openly as he seems to not really care about which size Huh  he just seems to be attracted to faces and character mainly. He also doesnt care about butts. I had many compliments in life about my butt, from him too...but he never grabs it. He is actually very complicated..for me. I am serious and he makes jokes about many serious subjects..so i often avoid conversations.. He is pretty much unsensitive as well..he often hides his real feelings too.. or thinks long before answering as if he doenst tell the truth.
We dont really have that romance anymore..and i guess he prefers somewhat larger breasts summing this all up.

Once he tried to be a bit interested in the science of breast massage and we had a little chat about that. He seems to encourage me somewhat too so you could be right on guys seeing nbe somewhat as a turn on. 
But for me it feels like I am a insecure loser when my secret is beeing exposed to anybody. 
Cant get over the fact he does not talk about it...he might think its uncomfortable...but I am so curious of what he thinks. I still cant laugh over it,lol.

Just feel stupid we dont seem to have that much of an open relationship as I thought we had.
And starting a talk about this while he might not care at all...well useless right? He just doesnt seem to be that guy who wants to take away that insecurity..
He says Im hot when wearing a bikini but further nothing...

Well I guess thats what long term relationships become..boring.
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#4

A man's perspective here. Men know breast size is a sensitive subject for women. Any boyfriend or husband will tell you that he likes your breasts just the size they are for fear of getting a response "so you don't like me because my breasts are too big/small?" Never ask him directly about your breast size but you can say "I think I can and want to increase my breast size, is that ok with you?" 

The fact that he is willing to massage your breasts is a bonus and you should encourage him to do that with oil (coconut, almond, or aloe vera) and possibly with some added fenugreek.
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