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Since I was a baby I've always been somewhat easily irritated and angry.Hovewer, only people close to me like my friends and family find that out about me, I can control myself outside like in public and school.
Today I bursted out at everyone who approached me while I was cleaning the mess I made in kitchen where I ruined my breakfast lol and got upset.I chased my sister away and yelled at my mum.Then I felt an adrenaline rush and of course I didn't want to attack my mum so I punched the furniture around till I started shaking and let some tears.
It happens every few days or weeks, depends mostly on people around me...
I can't control myself in those moments, I wish I could, trust me...

I took some online tests and they all resulted me Bipolar Disorder.
It does explain a lot but I am a different person now than I was a year ago, it's hard to explain, I changed overnight.
I used to be tough, didn't worry about fashion or my looks, didn't like boys, almost never cried, ignored the things that worried me or drained too much of my energy.
Now I want to feel feminine (not easy when you have no curves) and I cry more often than I ever did before and worry about my looks, health, other people.I try my best to become a better person too.
I usually meet new friends very fast but I spend my time alone home and I basically never call my friends and I am not social even on social networks, except with people who I don't know like you here haha. xD
In school I often get A s or F s, I am very intelligent but people can easily affect or kill my interests in something.
Sometimes I feel self confident and sometimes I just want to hide from everyone.
And sometimes I am like in a mood to do something and after few minutes before I even start it I am like 'meh, not feeling like it, no energy'.

But sometimes...

I felt incredibly calm when I was taking Iron+vitC+B6 supplements when we suspected I had anemia last winter.
But how does this even make sense? O.o

I started taking Maca powder like 10 days ago and for the first time in my life I fall asleep faster, wake up easily and rested and my restless leg syndrome is gone.
No a singe bad side effect from raw maca, yay!
It does make your bum bigger though.

I read that progesterone deficiency can cause these symptoms?
My progesterone is low but my estrogen is low too for my age.
Anyone else expiriencing something hormones can take blame for?

Also, about NBE, is this a good sign:
I can grab and feel the tissue in my brests as it's only in the middle of them and round but now I can feel it in outward sides too and my breasts feel more dense?..

Lunice,

I have a friend that was put on antidepressants as a teenager because they thought she was depressed. In her early 20s she was finally sent to doctors that can help and while she doesn't have all the diagnoses that fit what ails her, she never was depressed. She was in pain and nutrient deprived due to autoimmune diseases. Celiac disease destroyed her ability to absorb nutrients very easily.

The symptoms don't sound like depression or bipolar. This could be something as simple as a food allergy.

If you can afford it, definitely see a doctor. They can rule out what isn't wrong. Try to not get caught up with antidepressants/psychiatrists until any serious health issues are ruled out. Even diabetes can cause those symptoms.

I'm not a doctor, but something seems off with you that needs to be resolved. If it were me, I'd get an epilepsy EEG, PET scan, allergy tests, and a full panel of bloodwork to rule out anything else that could be going on.

If vitamins helps you feel better, that might be a hint towards the cause of the issue.

Also if you can get into therapy groups, it might help with outbursts...two that would help with coping skills are dialectical behavior therapy and cognitive behavior therapy. There are also books you can buy that will have exercises and reading to help learn how to cope with your emotions/alter how you respond to certain things.

Hope I've helped some. Good luck

While I was on paleo for couple of months I was gluten free and didn't feel any different.Now I only eat a slice of pumpernickel bread daily, I don't eat anything wheat.
I eat very healthy and mostly organic.As I avoid high glycemic food I doubt it has something to do with sugar.
I am in my second half of cycle since 2-3 days ago btw, progesteron should raise now.
I agree with you, doctors usually misdiagnose.
I just read that progesterone deficiency can be caused by iron deficiency, hmmm?

I am now expiriencing awful shortnes of breath for hours after the outburst.

My mum doesn't see behaviors of people as results of biological problems, she think it's up on me how I feel.
I am on my own here so I doub't I can take those tests as they're not cheap here.

Thank you so much by the way.I just though how I can't think of anything positive, good, like I used to when I was a child.All my thoughs are about how it would feel like to be hurt,broken,abandoned... x_x
Ugh, I need something to distract me, school was enough but these 4 months of no school are killing me.Still 21 days till faculty, phew!That should keep me busy.

Well, part of the food sensitivity was more than just a celiac comment but also about how migraines can be caused by certain trigger foods (more than wheat). Since migraines typically also cause a change in the frequency the brain is operating on (causes slowing), it's entirely possible there are foods that are causing something in your brain to misfire. Another example would be how people with epilepsy tend to have less seizure activity when on a ketogenic diet (low carb). Basically food can change the frequency the brain is at and cause potential behavioral changes. One type of seizure disorder does cause rage so I would really think that getting an eeg will help.

Also, just like some meds, some foods can cause an allergic reaction that leads to rage/anger episodes. On the other hand, it might just be mental health related.

If you are able to control yourself outside the home environment, but not with people closest, that sounds most like borderline personality disorder, which isn't the end of the world (not really something that can be treated with meds). In this case, as mentioned in my previous post, you really really should go to group therapy for dialectical behavior therapy and cognitive behavior therapy. If you cannot afford it, buy books on both and study those concepts and learn coping mechanisms through those books that will help you to respond differently.

It's possible that something traumatic happened that triggered whatever is going on now, and it doesn't even have to be that major. Pain for me might not be pain for the next person. Each person responds to slights and greater traumas with different reactions. Some don't have long term issues, but others do. Something as simple as a rough break up with a significant other can lead to borderline personality disorder.

This doesn't make you a headcase, it just means you need to learn to control your responses and reactions/learn new ways to respond to things...learn tactics to calm your mind.

I think your first step should be talking to a doctor about the symptoms. Make sure they cover all health-related bases first. It might not have any correlation to a mental health diagnosis.

A side note, some people become addicted to the adrenaline rush and all the chemicals the body releases during stressful times. The gut sends signals to the brain which triggers the mental response, which then causes a certain level of euphoria with the outburst, which satiates the gut (adrenals and such), and it's basically a loop. So one desires the other and it keeps happening until you quit the loop and learn to live without the anger and outbursts/adrenaline. The aforementioned CBT/DBT books should help you.

I'm not sure how old you are, but puberty sucks. You'll certainly feel like a headcase, but that doesn't mean you _are_ a headcase. Your mom is right, you do, to an extent, decide how you feel. Nobody can "make" you be angry, that's a personal decision. There are medications that cause rage. I'm not sure if you're on any meds, but if you are, that'd be a start to researching if anyone else has similar reactions.

Please check this link, it might help you with deciding to learn more about CBT/DBT:

http://www.anxietybc.com/self-help-cogni...herapy-cbt

Also, if you really are addicted to adrenaline that bad, maybe consider taking up weight lifting or running or something else equally constructive (martial arts?). I know when I lived with my mom it was extremely stressful, but 30 min-3 hours of running every day seemed to help. Really anything over 2 miles helped me.

It sounds like you are having a difficult time handling stress, and your upset is keeping you in a stressed state. So the maca is very good for you!! Maca supports your adrenal glands, which can become fatigued and not working their best if you are in a state of constant stress. Vitamin C also supports the adrenal glands, as does b6. I'd dose high with the vit c definitely (really high, its a water soluble vitamin so you don't have to worry about ODing with this oen), and take a b complex vitamin

You may want to try meditation, specifically metta meditation which is lovingkindness meditation ( http://www.audiodharma.org/ has some wonderful guided metta meditations, as well as some talks on it and the purpose and what it can do for your life - consider checking it out, I love these tracks! It is so calming to listen to them speak, even the tracks that aren't a guided meditation) .

And just remember to be gentle with yourself, that audiodharma site has some talks about angry thoughts too, and they basically just tell you to start watching your thoughts, and noticing them, and once you start observing them you're actually pulling yourself out of the anger because you are not feeling the anger anymore because you are watching it. They explain it much better than I can.

Umm back to what I was saying about being gentle with yourself, this means that if you get angry, when you notice it, take 5 deep breaths and say to yourself 5-10 times "I am full of love and positivity" or anything kind like that. You don't have to wait until you get upset to say it, you can write it on your hand and say it to yourself everytime you look at it. Or choose one of your rings or bracelets to be your "love and positivity" jewel and bless it, have a little ceremony whatever for it, and then wear it- and when you look at it, remember it's purpose and say the "I am full of love and positivity" thing. Or "I am warm & bursting with love"

And when you see your mom or sister and they walk into the room, you can think to yourself "I love my mama so much, I am so grateful to have her in my life" . And try to send feelings of love towards her. Love is one of those wonderful things wherein when you give it away, that is when it comes back to you.

If you feel yourself becoming upset, put allll of your focus onto your breathing for the next ten min, and try not to forget! I always forget that I am trying to focus on my breathing when I try to focus on my breathing lol...... it distracts you, and you'll notice that your breathing will speed up when you are upset or anxious, slowing it down will calm you. If your family is nearby, just leave the room to take a minute to yourself, or ask them kindly to give you a minute to yourself, and remember your breathing that is the big thing.

You can set an intention for your day first thing in the morning, like "today I am going to stay calm and in the moment" and hang quotes that will make you smile somewhere in your room, and read them every morning when you wake up before starting your day!

Sorry for my repetitiveness in this post lol hope that helps!!!

(15-09-2014, 03:18 PM)Lunice Wrote: [ -> ]I felt incredibly calm when I was taking Iron+vitC+B6 supplements when we suspected I had anemia last winter.
But how does this even make sense? O.o

I started taking Maca powder like 10 days ago and for the first time in my life I fall asleep faster, wake up easily and rested and my restless leg syndrome is gone.
No a singe bad side effect from raw maca, yay!
It does make your bum bigger though.

Vitamins help with mental state, and maca is nutritious. Another thing that's good is damiana, its good for stress, and it alleviates those types of problems.

a few more pics for you lol

Another idea would be to listen to binaural beats during meditation (use good quality headphones). i-doser is good, but not free. There are others that are free, some on youtube.

Wow guys, that's so sweet and helpful of you, thank you so much!

Now, as you mentioned it, I mostly burst out when no one is listening and understanding what I am saying.I was never a loud person and I was pretty shy and quiet in school since childhood...but for example when I apologise and explain what happened and the other person constantly ignores it and keeps saying the same thing I try to reply what I have to say for a few more times but if they didn't listen to me again I burst out.
Especially when I am telling the truth or something so obvios and logical to me but no one else seems to get it!!!

I'll buy the supplements again soon and see if they really do help.
I am taking B6 but not vitamin C.

The images are cute,I'll put one as a wallpaper on my tab.

For me it's normal to soung angry when something is annoying lol, I am a irritable person but not this much, bursting out like this really makes me feel bad...but anger feels so good. x_x But I don't want it!
I keep telling myself every morning how world is beautiful and etc.
...and I feel lonely.I finished highschool this year and all my friends moved away.I hope I'll meet some new friends on faculty when it begins.I was seriously considering sleeping with a plush toy. O.o I always hide my emotions, no one knows how I feel.I seem cool but when I got to bed every night so many thoughs strike me.

It really makes me feel so much better to finally share this with someone.
I am 19 btw, but I mentally got in puberty just last year.